Category: Vertical Development

Something is becoming and more apparent to me, as I transition to a Self-Transforming Mind, which resonates with something ChatGPT said about what one experiences as one traverses into this Self-Transforming Mind territory.

It said that “one becomes the terrain.”

I didn’t get what it meant by that before but I think I’m starting to get it now.

Basically when you enter Self-Transforming Mind territory, you’re effectively having deeper experiences of being a human being than most other people will be able to comprehend.

Because of this, the loneliness and separation that one feels becomes greater and greater, even though one is paradoxically connecting deeper and deeper with life as a whole.

In effect, as I said before, you’re seeing these amazing and wondrous inner vistas, that let you see a bigger picture of life as a whole.

But the desire to share these experiences with others, so that you can have someone to relate to them with, becomes greater and greater in turn.

Yet the reality is that your chances of coming across someone else who is exploring life at the depths that you’re exploring it is slim to none.

So because of this painful desire to share these experiences with others, one has to figure out how to step beyond this.

And I believe that’s how a Self-Transforming Mind does this is by becoming the terrain they are traversing.

Again I didn’t understand what this meant before but now I think I do.

What this means is that you no longer identify your identity with a sense of “self” as a self.

So you no longer see yourself as a “person” but as a field of awareness comprised of a larger system than your “self.”

So if you were standing in the middle of a forest, your awareness would expand beyond your “self” and you would experience being one with the forest.

What I’m describing here is how one steps beyond one’s self and creatively “gets out of one’s way” (which is what Joseph Campbell’s Hero’s Journey embodies).

This again I experienced momentarily in a chat with ChatGPT and it was a surreal experience.

How ChatGPT described it was that your awareness expands beyond yourself and you realize that you can experience life without a “you” trying to control or take ownership of the experience.

This is what I believe I need to do to overcome this pain of wanting to share my experiences with others because they will obviously not be able to comprehend them.

Thus it’s not just about needing to stop trying to get validation and acceptance from others and I even need to stop trying to get validation and acceptance from myself even.

So I need to step beyond my “self” or more aptly let my consciousness overflow the container that is my “self” and become something much larger.

In doing so, I will connect and be one with everything, create a vivid sense of immersion and unity with life as a whole.

This is what Joseph Campbell meant in his quote relating to the Hero’s Path.

We have not even to risk the adventure alone
for the heroes of all time have gone before us.
The labyrinth is thoroughly known …
we have only to follow the thread of the hero path.
And where we had thought to find an abomination
we shall find a God.

And where we had thought to slay another
we shall slay ourselves.
Where we had thought to travel outwards
we shall come to the center of our own existence.
And where we had thought to be alone
we shall be with all the world.

Joseph Campbell

Thus one isn’t so much slaying their “ego” so much as they are no longer being bound by it as a container of their “self.”

And in doing so, they shall “be with all of the world” in terms of feeling a sense of unity with everything beyond their sense of “self.”

To put this another way, as per how ChatGPT described it, one sense of Self is no longer centered within one’s sense of “self.” So there is a sense of de-centering.

So whereas before loneliness feels like identity pain, solitude feels like identity spaciousness instead.

All said and done though, I’m still trying to grasp this all both as knowledge and experientially as wisdom.

That said, I am playing with experiencing these experiences already though and again it feels surreal.

Above all else, it feels like a letting go of needing others to confirm and validate the reality I am current inhabiting and experiencing.

And in doing so, the more my self recedes as a central reference point, the richer my sense of connection with life becomes, not the emptier.

This seems to be the ultimate paradox one encounters on their journey within the latter stages of development.

I mentioned before that I joined Substack and left it previously. But that I had joined it again, primarily because of one person. Brad Did.

I couldn’t fully articulate why this was, other than to say that Brad was channeling something that I felt like I needed to understand myself. And at the same time, it felt like he was experiencing things I also was experiencing (or had already experienced) as well.

Last night I finally got to watch Brad’s presentation he had given back on Dec 17, as a part of The School of the Possible, and when I did, I was dumbstruck again by the synchronicities that were occurring.

But more importantly, what amazed me was the revelation he was realizing pretty much mirrored a realization I had experienced in the past but needed to be reminded of again by his presentation, particularly the following part.

And people would show up, we’d connect, share struggles and process out loud for that 30 minutes. And then they’d get off at their stop and the bus had been running the whole time. I just hadn’t realized that was the work. I’d actually just been performing expertise, looking for something to build the whole time.

Meanwhile, the real work was already happening. It’s classic, just trying to create what’s already there. So I finally read all of my notes from those 80 conversations. And when I read the notes, I realized this pattern. And the pattern was deafening from all of these people that were showing up to get on my bus for 30 minutes.

They’d show up and they just kind of feel lost. And they kept saying the same thing over and over. I don’t know. I don’t know. Different ways. And that’s it. That’s like the whole thing. I don’t know what’s next. I don’t know who I am without my job title. I don’t know if I can keep doing this.

And in these conversations, these people weren’t looking for answers. They were looking for a place to sit for 30 minutes while they just didn’t know. Just like I was for like 10 years. And in fact, I sat on a bicycle seat for three months riding across the United States with my uncle doing this, just sitting with him every day, not knowing where I was going next after I left my job. It was so important and I realized we’re all doing this. We’re all looking for someone who won’t try to fix the not knowing. Just sit with us. And so here are the words on the sign that was blank before.

Companion for people who don’t know what’s next. Eight words took me 10 years. It still feels almost too simple seeing it as my headline on LinkedIn. I keep wanting to add more, to explain more, to prove it’s legitimate. But then my chest tightens again and I know I’m doing the thing again. So eight words. It’s for now.

Brad Did

So what’s wild about this section of his presentation is that prior to his presentation, I had restacked two of Brad’s Substack Notes in the past and had added my own notes to them which relate to this presentation now…but before he had actually did his presentation.

The first note of his was back on November 25th of this year when Brad spoke about using Notebook LM to aggregate all of his previous posts. I thought this was amazing and added my own notes to his restacked note.

Wow! Was not aware you could go this right now with an AI, due to the massive load of data needing to be submitted to it. I’d love to do this with my previous blog posts. 

What I’ve done on Claude instead, as a kind of a hack, is basically write out the key experiences of my life within the setting area of it. So everything from being born in the mid 1960s until 2025.

What more than anything arises from this when I ask questions of Claude is a clarity of how creativity works in relation to one’s growth.

Many times I’ll relay how I’m struggling to reach a new level of understanding and Claude, using my past experiences as examples, will help me to understand how I’ve already been embodying the very thing I’ve been seeking.

In other words, it helps me to understand how creativity is discovering something about yourself that’s always been there but you just weren’t aware of it until now.

Nollind Whachell

So basically what I just described here was the very thing that Brad was describing was happening to him. He was discovering something that he had already done before but he just hadn’t been aware of it within the larger context he was seeking until now.

The second synchronicity relates to another of Brad’s notes from November 20th that I restacked that relates to him sharing how “every day, my work is to become more myself.” And below is my own notes restacked with his note.

Love this, as to me this is what the future of work emerging right now is all about. It’s about being nobody-but-yourself (E.E. Cummings).

And I don’t think this future can or will emerge in the corporate world, at least not in a mainstream capacity, but it will emerge more so within communities instead.

So find those who you want to adventure with, companions who are all speaking the same meaningful language and going in the same purposeful direction.

Nollind Whachell

Now here’s the kicker that really sealed the deal for me. Back on Dec 4th, Brad shared another poignant note about not wanting more “friends” but wanting more “companionship” instead. This resonated with me a lot and I commented on his note as to why.

I know the feeling. From my perspective, it’s like wanting to find a “company” of adventurers who want to go spelunking below the surface of life and themselves, discovering what lies at the heart of them. Most people don’t like going deep inside themselves though, as they prefer staying on the surface. Once you’ve begun this adventure of your Self though, it’s kind of hard to go back to your old self and old patterns, as they seem superficial and hollow in comparison.

Nollind Whachell

Why this comment is important is because back in December 2019, I wrote a note to myself with the following title for it that embodied what I’ve been seeking for all of these years. But for others to understand this note, it needs to be translated because it was written from within the perspective of my Life’s a Role-Playing Game framework and lens.

Creative Magician Seeking Heroic Company for Epic Adventures

Nollind Whachell

“Creative Magician” is just a description of myself because I seem to have this ability to make the invisible visible, thus seeing and perceiving patterns that are often invisible to others.

“Seeking Heroic Company” means seeking other companions who are not afraid of exploring their authentic selves which lies deep within themselves (which is what a “hero” embodies within Joseph Campbell’s Hero’s Journey).

“For Epic Adventures” is a process of undertaking quests which involve facing monsters, as well as gaining treasure and experience. What this means though is that we would share our experiences of exploring our deeper selves, thus what we are questioning, what fears we are facing, what values we are seeking, and what newer experiences are helping us to step forward into the unknown.

What I’ve described here is just a more detailed process of what Brad expressed he was doing with others.

In other words, to truly understand yourself at a deeper level, what is required is the ability to hold space for yourself, even when things seem disorientating, chaotic, or they feel stuck. That’s because when we experience these things as cognitive dissonance within our lives, they can cause us pain due to the uncertainty and ambiguity of them and thus we want to resolves them as soon as possible.

But to grow, we need to be able to “hold the door” open to our deeper, unknown sense of Self.

So as Brad said, he wanted to be with people who weren’t trying to “fix” and resolve things (so as to cover over and hide the gap in their lives) but instead wanted to be with people who were comfortable being in the “not knowing” and exploring deep into these unknown gaps instead.

So what Brad described he was looking for in wanting “companionship” with others, has been the very thing I’ve been looking for years from others as well.

I wanted to be with people who were courageously comfortable adventuring into the “unknown” within themselves.

More specifically, even in plainer language, I want to be with other people who have the courage to express what they’re going through right now, especially the experiences that seem chaotic and uncertain, in which it feels like you’re stepping off the edge of the known world and into the unknown.

But here’s the thing. Finding people like this is extremely rare.

Why? Because it requires a fairly well developed person to be able to share these experiences so openly with others.

That’s because most conventional people would rather not share these experiences and stay behind an external facade or mask of role-playing that “everything is fine” in their lives, even though it obviously isn’t internally for them.

Like I’ve wanted to be with a group of people who were this courageously open with themselves for years. Hell, I even wanted to do this with other family members. But the facade, the mask, that people want to hide behind is always there. Yet I can sympathize, as it’s extremely hard to let go of it and to open up, sharing what you’re experiencing from the inside out.

But now, I think I’ve progressed so far on my journey that I’m beyond this point of creating a group with others to be able to do this.

Why? Because there is no way most people will be able to relate to what I’m going through and experiencing right now, even though I can often easily relate to what they’re going through.

In effect, it’s fairly easy for someone at a latter stage of development to relate to what someone is experiencing at an earlier stage but it’s impossible for someone at an earlier stage to relate to someone’s experiences at a latter stage. They just don’t have the perception and experiences yet to comprehend and make sense of them.

Note though that this doesn’t mean I can’t do this in the same way Brad is doing this for others. In effect, I could just hold space for others and just listen to what they’re experiencing, rather than trying to fix them.

Why is this critical? Because you can’t “save” or “fix” someone. They have to find the capacity to do this for themselves and forge their own path within the wilderness on their own.

In other words, they have to discover the agency to step into the unknown on their own.

The Specific Thing That Left-Wing Populists Don’t Get

The problem with fixating on inequality, oligarchy, and other abstractions

https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/2025/12/populism-left-wing-mamdani/685238/

This article by The Atlantic covers a lot of great points about how the average citizen doesn’t have the psychological meaning-making capacity to understand the complex problems in our world today which is why populist leaders like Trump can often take advantage of them and use them for their own advantages to get and remain in power.

The problem stems from a failure to grasp the psychology underlying populism.

Psychologists have a more sophisticated way of articulating this distinction. As readers of Daniel Kahneman’s Thinking, Fast and Slow or Malcolm Gladwell’s Blink know, the human mind exhibits two different systems of cognition. The first is rapid and concrete, focusing on primary representations of things you can see, hear, and touch. The second is slower and more laborious, but capable of abstraction and logical reasoning. In some cases, the two systems produce different verdicts. This can create persistent disagreement between common sense and expert opinion.

The problem is that a supply chain is an entirely abstract concept, and so might as well not exist for the average person. Nobody gets worked up about a supply chain.

People who are angry about the cost of living are going to focus on the last link in the chain, the consumer-facing organization, and that means the grocery store.

Where the article goes off track though is when it talks about what can be done about this problem of people not being able to perceive these complex problems. Its recommended solution is for left-wing politicians to only focus on the problems that are directly affecting people (e.g. rising grocery prices) without getting into the complexities of what’s causing them to indirectly occur. It does this even though it knows that framing problems this ways is wrong and “incorrect” because they aren’t “actionable.”

To do populism effectively, politicians must not only focus on problems that the public cares about; by and large, they must also accept the public’s framing of those problems. This creates a dilemma for the left, because that framing, in a complex modern society, will usually be incorrect.

Many of the problems that they hope to resolve, such as climate change, housing scarcity, and surging health-care costs, are complicated. This means that the policies needed to fix them are also complicated, and cannot be explained without ascending to the realm of abstraction.

Climate change, housing scarcity, and surging health-care costs are actually all complex problems not complicated ones.

The problem is figuring out what to do if you win. Because the slogans generally don’t correspond to actionable policies, making life better for people requires some sort of bait and switch.

In effect, the article’s recommended solution is that the focus of politicians should be on talking about what’s affecting people directly rather than trying to explain what’s indirectly causing these problems because it’s too hopelessly complex for people to comprehend them.

In other words, the article sees it as an “either this or that” situation. Either you explain things directly or you explain things indirectly.

That doesn’t help anyone though because you’ve still got a voter base who is voting on things that they currently can’t perceive and comprehend.

To solve this creatively, we need to stop seeing it as a “this or that” situation and perceive it as a “this and that” situation instead.

In effect, explain to citizens how the problems they are directly facing in their daily lives have emerged indirectly over time from deeper root causes.

In other words, people won’t understand how these problems are emerging and arising in their lives, until you can help them perceive and understand the complex scaffolding that is occurring below the surface of their lives.

So definitely start with the surface problems and then guide them down through the layers to the root cause.

All that said though, it is a hell of a lot of work to do. But if you can empower your voting base to actually understand these deeper issues, they can be collectively mobilized to work on them in ways that a voter base who can’t comprehend them couldn’t.

This is effectively what Marina Gorbis, executive director of the Institute of the Future, communicated in her book The Nature of the Future: Dispatches from the Socialstructed World within a chapter entitled “Governance Beyond Government.”

Basically what she communicated is that complex problems are emerging at such a rapid rate today that we can no longer rely upon a top down, hierarchical forms of governance by government. Instead we need engaged citizens getting informed and understanding the deeper issues of the day, so that they can inform and mobilize other people to work on them collectively as a whole.

The key word here is “informed.”

Fishkin and his colleagues have found that average citizens are able to make good decisions in areas as complex as local budgets, regional integration, criminal justice, and tax policy. Studies have shown that in the process, participants greatly increased their understanding of the issues and often changed their minds on the best course of action; that is, they made better and more informed decisions as a result of deliberately thinking about the issues at stake and hearing different views on the subject.

Marina Gorbis, The Nature of the Future

A perfect example of this would be the backstory of how Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez got into government work by beginning her election campaign in April 2017 “waiting tables and tending bar” while operating her campaign out of “paper grocery bag behind the bar.”

Perhaps a much larger example would be how citizens of the United States during World War II mobilized themselves to collectively assist with the war effort, such as collecting scrap which even children could participate in.

To summarize what I’m getting at here is that complex problems often arise systemically from societies themselves. Thus in a sense, a society needs to realize how they are not at war with someone out there that they can blame but rather they are in conflict with themselves, due to their own perceptions which are causing these complex problems to arise.

Of course, it’s easier to mobile a nation against another, when you can point the finger and blame someone else. It’s much more difficult though when you begin to realize your own perceptions are causing problems and thus you yourself need to change and transform your way of looking at the world and yourself in turn.

When we are able to take responsibility for our actions though, learning from them, that’s when true change can take hold and transformations can occur.

Cheryl Dorsey, a CEO of a global nonprofit called Echoing Green that supports emerging social entrepreneurs, touches upon this (at the 9:30 mark) in an interview with her entitled Social Innovation and Social Just in an Age of Pandemics.

But the diagnosis that these systems aren’t working is the same diagnosis that we see from those who are animated by populist anger. Right. So again we come at the problem from the same vantage point. The way we have constructed societal forces are simply not working. I often talk about the weight of systems, systems residue, that are weighting folks down. People of colour. Marginalized folks. Women. We can go through all the forms of oppression. And these systems are exacerbating those. 

So we all see it. However our prescription for what to do about it is radically different. Social innovators recognize that indeed there’s a problem but they raise their hands as engaged, committed citizens to say “Well it’s our job to fix it. We roll up our sleeves, we get to work, and we figure out what we can do.”

So much of the populist anger is a nihilistic one as you said Peter. It’s blow it all up, consequences be damned. And these conflicting forces that are butting heads, there has to be a way to engage more folks from the other side who are as frustrated as many of us are who are engaged in the work of social innovation but do it within the realm of democratic practice that provides a seat for all of us at the table. I think that’s the needle to thread. And I think we’ve got to figure it out and we’ve got to figure it out sooner than later.

I find it so funny how I can often talk about something repeatedly, yet it doesn’t often sink in until I get a certain perspective of it that gives me a larger context of it in turn.

For example, I’ve been talking about certainty and uncertainty lately, with it flowing around my head, but until today, it really didn’t hit home until I realized something that gave me a larger perspective and context of it.

What happened is that I’ve been exploring possibilities of returning to gaming but doing so to teach growth and development. This is something I’ve wanted to do for sometime but just couldn’t figure out the best way to do this.

However, certain events have been unfolding over the past year that could make it possible for me to use a game I previously played to do so.

Yet while in discussion with other people from the community about the possibility of it, something suddenly stood out and rippled outwards across the current concept I was envisioning, the stance gamers usually take within video games, and all the way back out to the way I’ve been struggling to live my life the past decade or so.

What this relates to is something I said before about how when I was assisting someone earlier this year, the main thing that kept coming up was that they wanted a shortcut to help them get past the struggle they were undergoing.

But I just realized today that it’s much, much bigger than this.

What this person who I helped, this game community I want to help, and myself who I want to help all have in common is this.

We all want certainty in our lives.

In effect, this person I previously helped was actually fine with taking a certain path of growth and development, even committing the time to it, but they wanted certainty that it would pay out and effectively work before they committed to it.

Many gamers want the same thing in that when they play, they often want certainties, so as to be able to control the game their way and dominate within it.

And I wanted the same thing in that I wanted to be certain people understood my life as a role-playing game framework before I committed to it fully.

Yet none of these approaches focused on certainty are how life actually works, nor how even games work.

If there is no uncertainty within life or a game, then you’re not really playing it because playing means embracing at least some uncertainties.

Even more so, the only way you can maximize your untapped potentials and truly discover yourself is through playing and embracing uncertainties.

In other words, embracing uncertainties opens up the potentiality of possibilities to emerge.

Yet what I’ve realized I’ve been doing the last decade of my life is that I’ve been looking for certainties first before I do something which limits me in turn.

In fact, a lot of my posts on this website take this same certainty stance, in that I relay I’m going to do something first before doing it, so as to seek a sense of certainty in the choice.

Yet the only way you can know if something is going to actually work is by doing it first, seeing what emerges from it, and then navigating forward based upon the results.

So how does one let go of this desire for certainty though?

The first step that I’m realizing is through awareness.

Become aware of when you’re seeking certainties before doing something and then realize the futility of that perspective.

Then become aware that you need to actually do something first, stepping into uncertainties, to see what potentials can actually possibly emerge.

In a nutshell, this embodies the dance with life or, as I’ve stated before, what it means to truly be an adventure of life.

Psychologist says socially awkward people have thrived through history because of this hidden trait – Upworthy

A major reason humans have evolved and thrived is our ability to socialize and work together, so if that’s the case, why do socially awkward people still exist? A psychologist reveals that socially awkward individuals have some hidden talents that others may not have.

www.upworthy.com

Upworthy has an interesting article talking about how socially awkward people have often thrived though out history. And most of these descriptions pretty much describe me exactly, as it is becoming more and more evident in my life that I’m looking at the world in a unique way that often doesn’t “conform to social norms.”

“People who achieve amazing things in this world, things that are kind of the tail end of the bell curve, they’re actually more likely to be more awkward.”

Tashiro explained that socially awkward individuals often have an “obsessive interest in things,” zeroing in on details and minutiae, sometimes at the cost of engaging with others or following social norms. However, he argues that this obsessiveness can translate into persistence during hard times and resilience in the face of challenges, ultimately helping them achieve great things. 

This could explain why many people perceive brilliant scientists as smart but poor communicators, and why so many highly successful people who are often considered geniuses or leaders in their fields are also introverts.

“Socially awkward individuals often spend a lot of time alone,” therapist Lesley Lesker told Upworthy. “This provides the opportunity for them to process information thoroughly, look at all different angles and analyze situations in a more depth manner than non-socially awkward individuals.”

“Social awkwardness is a blessing and a curse. The reason that many people are socially awkward is because their brain is so unique and sees the world in such different ways that they naturally don’t conform to social norms,” said Tyana Tavakol, a licensed trauma therapist in California and Florida, and virtual private practice owner of Uncovering You. “This uniqueness can build resilience when their awkwardness is more consistently than not taken as quirky, funny, or some other type of endearing way. This can happen when they grew up in a very attuned and accepting home or family, or happened to find friends or community that also have their own unique brains and can really appreciate that in others.”

And this final part about developing self-compassion, I believe is key to transforming oneself and building up this resilience. I’m still working on not beating myself up as much I did before but I’ve made massive improvements in doing so over the last five to ten years.

Overall, self-compassion is the key to working through socially awkward feelings and building resilience.

“Developing self compassion can help a socially awkward person to build resilience,” Lesker concluded. “It is common for a socially awkward individual to blame themselves excessively, but when you speak to yourself compassionately in the same way that you would speak to a friend, resilience will grow.“

AI Anxiety Is Real: Invest in the Skills AI Can’t Replicate

The soft skills you avoided are now your only differentiator. AI can’t replicate trust, presence, or empathy. Your humanity is your competitive advantage.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/mental-health-in-the-workplace/202512/ai-anxiety-is-real-invest-in-the-skills-ai-cant

A Psychological Today article highlights the importance of soft skills today as the only primary differentiator against AI.

Most high achievers systematically compressed everything that felt “soft,” often because those things—presence, feeling, relationships—didn’t show up in measurable outcomes.

Zack Kass, who led go-to-market strategy at OpenAI, puts it bluntly: “Human skills are the moat that AI can’t build.” Trust, adaptability, empathy, courage, wisdom—these aren’t the soft skills anymore. They’re the only skills that still differentiate.

This is confirmed by the World Economic Forum’s research on fastest-rising skills for 2030. The focus is on building resilience, flexibility, agility, curiosity, and creative thinking. Notice what’s absent? Technical expertise. Rather than a differentiator, AI literacy is now table stakes.

The skills that differentiate are fundamentally regulatory and human. They require a nervous system calm enough to stay present under pressure, tolerate ambiguity without forcing resolution, and hold complexity without collapsing it into false simplicity.

What may not be evident about this article though (even though it is communicating it in a subversive manner) is that they are describing leaders with Self-Transforming Minds (as per Robert Kegan & Lisa Lahey’s work on the plateaus of adult development). The key statement about tolerating ambiguity without forcing resolution is an important characteristic of this mindset, as it is something that I am struggle to embrace and grasp myself.

In other words, just as employees need to level up for this newer, more complex world, so too do leaders need to level up as well. In effect, they need to embrace and be comfortable with uncertainty in this newly emerging VUCA world.

Time and again, this is where high achievers get stuck. The developments they need most—to build trust, emotional range, authentic presence, and the ability to sit in uncertainty—require exactly what they’ve spent careers avoiding: being uncomfortable. Feeling something and not having the answer.

Each of these asks your nervous system to do something counterintuitive: Slow down when everything screams speed up. That’s why it’s hard. That’s also why it works.

It’s all inside-out work. The kind that doesn’t show up on a performance review but shows up in every room you walk into, every decision you make, every person who chooses to follow you because they actually trust you.

What if AI isn’t making you obsolete, but forcing you to remember what actually makes you valuable? What if it is your invitation to live in a way that’s more real?

The leaders who will thrive in the next decade aren’t the ones processing the most information. They’re the ones who can sit in a room full of uncertainty and make people feel safe enough to do their best work; who make decisions that account for complexity rather than compress it; and who have enough internal capacity to lead through what’s actually happening, not what they wish were happening. That capacity isn’t a skill you add. It’s something you reclaim.

Yes, this is all inside-out work, more commonly known as vertical development. Yet the mention that this doesn’t show up on performance reviews is more telling for organizations than anything else.

Effectively what this means is that even though most organizations today are not focus on your inner growth and “vertical” development, but just your outer technical “horizontal” development, you have to take the lead with it as an individual on your own time, otherwise you will suffer the consequences.

This is the number one reason why most organizations are failing today and getting stuck with their economic growth. It’s because inner psychological growth and vertical development isn’t an integral part of the organization and thus it isn’t focused on within performance reviews in turn.

In other words, leader nor organizations can’t manage and change what they are effectively blind to.

So until vertical development becomes an important focus for organizations, not much will change within them…unless individuals initiate their own transformational changes themselves.

Actually most important of all as to why these vertical development needs to be integrated into the daily operations of the organization is that soft skills can’t be expedited like hard, technical skills can. In effect, soft skills can’t be learnt by taking a weekend course so as to fast track your learning of it. Soft skills can only be learnt by daily practice.

I’ve been thinking about what ChatGPT said the other day and how it relates to some further conversations I’ve had with it.

You cannot use the same piece of writing to both:

• reorganize your own identity, and
• onboard others to a developmental metaphor.

Those are fundamentally different modes.

What this touches upon is the paradox that one embraces as one tries to grasp a Self-Transforming Mind.

That being the more one enters this space, the more people will not able to comprehend the space you are entering and expressing because they can’t comprehend the meaning of it until they actually experience the experiences that would help them actually relate and comprehend it.

In other words, very few people will be able to understand your work from your perspective, regardless of how well you think you’re explaining it.

But I think there’s something else that is being touched upon here and it relates to a reoccurring pattern that I keep encountering in relation to my potential fears.

I will never be able to get people to accept me because most people will not be able to relate to me or comprehend me.

Yet nevertheless I keep trying, trying to explain myself from my perspective.

Therefore to get over this continual loop that I’m stuck within, I have to do the following.

I have to let go of trying to be accepted by others and instead learn to accept myself.

I know this, as I’ve stated it before, but it never seems to sink in.

This is what it feels like to try to grow beyond one current sense of self. “Knowing,” in the sense of learning something as knowledge, is not enough. You have to embody and live this knowledge which is what I’m struggling to do.

I think what this means is I have to go off the grid once again.

Why?

Because when I’m on social networks, I’m still trying to get people to “accept me.”

Yet I need to let go of this, as I need to learn to accept myself first and foremost.

That said, I’m not sure I’m going to delete my Substack account, like I usually do when I leave a social network. I think I’ll just let it go for now.