It takes fierce will
to get ahead in this world.
Someday we’ll fall down and weep,
and we’ll understand it all; all things.
Unless you love,
your life will flash by.
It takes fierce will
to get ahead in this world.
Someday we’ll fall down and weep,
and we’ll understand it all; all things.
Unless you love,
your life will flash by.
I’ve been playing and working with the Web since the first web browser, Mosaic, came out in 1993. I even remember nostalgically finding a copy of the 0.9 beta version of it years later on floppy disk.
What I find frustrating though is that even after years of accumulating knowledge, expertise, and experience, people within the web industry for the most part today are still treated like a joke. For example, I remember dealing with huge global clients around 1999 and their product websites were often a complete afterthought to them (i.e. “Oh geez. We need a website too. Can you get that up by next week?”).
Today with the world living, playing, learning, and working on the Web and online social interaction being such an important aspect of our lives, you’d think that people in the Web industry would finally get some respect and recognition for what they’ve been doing all these years but it’s still completely the opposite. Even though web design and development has gotten more complex, clients often expect developers to do more with much, much less.
This is why, more than anything, I’ve gotten out of doing freelance client work because very few people understand and value my expertise and knowledge. In effect, web design is not about the individual pieces (i.e. linking simple web pages or documents) but the interaction of those pieces as a whole on a variety of levels which is why I think my systems thinking comes in so handy in this regard. Web design is branding & identity, marketing, graphical design, interactive design, usability, information architecture, community building, front-end programming, back-end programming, and more. This is why it’s usually almost impossible to find one individual who can cover all of these areas well.
For example, the typical web designer today that helps most small businesses can achieve so much because of the power of content management systems which lets them focus more on the front-end versus the back-end. Even just focusing on the front-end though is hardly simple. For example, when I was doing freelance work, I expected most of my clients to already have a solid brand and identity, as well as their content copy figured out with at least some logical structure to it. This would at least give me something to work with (i.e. Jerry McGuire’s “Help me, help you!”), allowing me to build a great flowing story-like interactive experience on their website. But even those basic expectations of branding and copy were almost never met and more often than not, clients expected me to come up with their branding & identity, as well as to help them with their copy.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I couldn’t do this. It was more the frustration at the context and scope of the project in relation to the quality of work that I could get out of it. For example, if the client’s needs were simple and they had a basic but usable logo, as well as at least some usable content, I often produced work that they were often extremely happy with, yet from my perspective I wouldn’t show it on my portfolio because it just didn’t “cut it” as quality work to me. Eventually after years of doing this and clients expecting more in less time and with less pay, I said enough. I don’t want to be a machine that produces a quantity of mediocre work. I want to be a human being who can express his authentic self through the quality of his creative work.
Amazingly enough, after I stopped doing freelance work and started doing work for myself, the quality of my work shot up dramatically and my knowledge, particularly with regards to front-end script-based interactivity, seemed to skyrocket. It’s because I finally had the time to experiment and play with crafting something that I myself would truly want to use. And if you only know one thing about me, realize that I am harder on and expect more of myself than anyone else. Thus if I’m using something, I expect it to be of quality work, being both highly functional and highly usable.
All said and done though, web design to me at its core still has very little to do with technology. It’s simply about people, relationships, and communications. For example, I’ve seen websites that while they may not have been visually beautiful, they were still amazing because their functionality and usability truly allowed people to connect easily and interact with one another. At the same time, I’ve seen simply gorgeous websites that were completely frustrating to use because they lacked the functionality and usability to let people connect easily. Thus more often than not people would just leave in frustration, not even bothering to contact the company because they couldn’t even find a way to contact them on their website. Sad but true.
This is exactly why I’m looking for full time work right now, while I continue to do my own personal work on the side. I want to find a company that truly cares about people both internally and externally. Thus they need to truly care about their employees and give them the time and space to create quality work which they can be proud of. At the same time, they should truly care about their customers and, more importantly, the local community around them. In effect, the more powerful they become, the more they should humbly give back in thanks for where they’ve gotten. And if you think this is a pipe dream, no there are local companies out there like this. Alas my goal is more difficult because I’d like to find a company that can not only utilize my web expertise but also my video game and community expertise as well, particularly done in such a way that the company is creating a positive social impact and change within the world, even if just on a local level.
All said and done though, I could have given up on web design years ago and I often thought about it. But still in the back of my head, I always knew that my knowledge and expertise were valuable to me in some way, even if on a personal level, because I still feel like I have something I still need to authentically create and express online with regards to social change. And in some strange way, I feel that when I discover what this is, it will make use all of my knowledge and expertise over the years in a unifying harmonistic way (i.e. story writing, web design, drawing, composing music). In effect, I feel it will a website that will express an important story of some kind through words, visual imagery, and even music on something of social importance. Again what this will be, I still don’t know at this time but deep within me is this strong undeniable emotional feeling that it still needs to be expressed in some way.
Thus as the saying goes, it’s not what life gives you, it’s what you do with it that matters. And if anything, I’m actually glad at the frustrations I’ve had with some clients over the years because they’ve helped me to understand and get closer to what I truly want to be doing. Without them, without that conflict, I wouldn’t be who I am today and I wouldn’t know so passionately about where I want to be going.
One of the most beautiful aspects of systems thinking is that it applies to so many aspects of life. At times though, this ability to learn so much from one thing can be frustrating, particularly when it comes to choosing a particular avenue to explore and experiment with systems thinking.
Two such avenues though have always been dominant within my life. One being systems thinking as it applies to organizational design, particularly startup businesses, and the other being systems thinking as it applies to game design, particularly massively multiplayer games. While people who know me know my interest in both of these areas, what they don’t know is that I’ve been looking at way to merge both of these avenues into one for at least a few years. For me the reasons are obvious, why spend years of research in one area (i.e. games design for entertainment), when I can spend years of research on something that merges both into something much more meaningful (i.e. playful social systems designed for social change).
To understand what I mean, imagine a fusional mix of Jane McGonigal’s Gaming Can Make A Better World, Flickr’s evolutionary origins, Kickstarter, and The Social Network, all rolled into one. Again for those who know me, I’ve hinted at this somewhat in the past when talking about my idea of “connected communities” which arose out of my frustrations of the Hurricane Katrina disaster. We, as a society, need to collectively evolve our intelligence and awareness if we’re going to be able to handle the challenges coming our way. And no I don’t mean a new way of organizing government or businesses, I mean a new way of self-organizing “we the people” to collectively tackle problems head on without the need for centralized command and control type systems that are simply so unreliable within the rapidly changing and volatile times we live in.
Simply put, we need news ways of socially interacting that are more than just individually focused (i.e. Facebook), as this just mirrors the same frustration within massively multiplayer games that follow this same individualistic pattern (typically theme park MMOs). We need systems that give us new ways of interacting as collective groups, rather than just as individuals. So instead of creating social systems that relay our individual awareness (i.e. Facebook), we need systems that relay our collective or group awareness. Yet at the same time, this needs to be done in such a way that the system is sustainable (i.e. decentralized) and simple to use (i.e. emergence-based with simple interactions).
If you’re wondering if I’ve magically come up with such a system, sorry to disappoint you but no I haven’t, even though I do get the occasional insight and realization that evolves my scope of understanding on tackling the subject. For example, this morning I played around with some conceptual ideas of a game-like social system that utilizes “energy” to achieve things within it. This energy is either time-based or money-based and it allows you to use abilities like “attacking” or “defending” a task / quest / cause, while also being able to “heal” or “empower” other individuals working on that task. So again, replicating elements that we see within games but using them in such a way that we can self-organize and overcome heroic challenges in real life (rather than just overcoming virtual heroic challenges and quests within games).
So for me, my dream job is no longer working for an open, sharing, and caring business company or game development company. It’s working within an eclectic company that is a hybrid of both, that’s looking at new ways of developing decentralized social systems that help people to interact within new, sustainable, and enjoyable ways.
Courage is doing what you’re afraid to do.
There can be no courage unless you’re scared.
Edward Vernon Rickenbacker
There goes my hero,
watch him as he goes.
There goes my hero,
he’s ordinary.
Don’t be afraid.
You have all the weapons you need.
Your fight for survival starts right now.
Begin your journey.
If you do, it will set you free.
We’re already dead.
What you’re imagining right now.
You control this world.
If you don’t stand for something,
you’ll fall for anything.
I’m noticing another pattern and this one is really scaring the shit out of me. I’m seeing a world full of amazingly talented and creative people, yet many of them feel like they need something outside of themselves to be complete, whole, and creatively successful. In effect, we’ve been so persuaded by outside influences (i.e. advertising, family, friends, etc) over the years, that we are actually believing it to the point that we feel like we’re worthless without some “external” thing to support us.
Part of the problem here is that again we’ve bred this culture of instant gratification in ourselves and thus we expect creative success to be immediate (i.e. within a month). Yet this couldn’t be farther from the truth. Creativity and design is an iterative process of many layers (applying and/or removing). Sure you may see the creative emergence of someone thinking “Wow, look at they did. I can do that too!” But what you don’t often see is the months or years of work building a creative foundation that slowly but naturally elevated them to success. So sure inspiration is great for making you realize something and giving you the courage to step out on that limb but persistence and dedication is what is needed for you to achieve your dreams.
Another problem that relates to this is that people seem to think that if they aren’t making money off of their creativity, then there is no point in being creative. This is a surefire way to kill your creative spirit and your soul in the process. Be real creative in everything you do, no matter if it’s for professional or personal reasons. Actually, as I’ve seen in the past, often times when you are doing something creative for yourself, that’s when it often evolves and leads into something for others. In effect, when you put the time, effort, and care into creating something worthwhile for yourself that’s when others see how great is and want it for themselves as well. So if anything, follow your personal creative passions, even if no one sees what you’re doing initially because not only does it allow you to creatively express your authentic self but it could lead to a creative emergence of something that others are attracted to as well.
Here’s some quick examples of what I mean by the above within my own life. When I was younger, I used to be amazing at drawing. Later in my early twenties, I composed my own music. Years later getting into my mid life, while I felt I would like to get back into drawing and music, I always felt like 1) I wasn’t good enough or 2) why bother because I couldn’t make any money off of it. Now I realize how stupid this thinking was for me. I don’t care how good I am now. I only care that I’ve found other mediums to express myself creatively, even if only for myself initially. Over time, when I feel like I’ve mastered it enough, then I’ll probably start sharing it with others and who knows what will arise out of it. So now, I’m starting to play around with composing music again. Soon, I hope to start drawing as well. Again, I know it will be an iterative experience that will take time but the benefit is that it lets me keep my creative and authentic energies flowing and also adds diversity to my life that could lead to the emergence of something down the road.
The first step to controlling your world
is to control your culture.
The first step — especially for young people with energy and drive and talent, but not money — the first step to controlling your world is to control your culture. To model and demonstrate the kind of world you demand to live in. To write the books. Make the music. Shoot the films. Paint the art.
Our Great War’s a spiritual war…
Tyler Durden, Fight Club
our Great Depression is our lives.
Man, I see in Fight Club the strongest and smartest men who’ve ever lived. I see all this potential, and I see squandering. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don’t need. We’re the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War’s a spiritual war… our Great Depression is our lives. We’ve all been raised on television to believe that one day we’d all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won’t. And we’re slowly learning that fact. And we’re very, very pissed off.
You are not machines. You are not cattle.
Charlie Chaplin, The Great Dictator
You are men. You have the love of humanity in your hearts.
You don’t hate, only the unloved hate.
Only the unloved and the unnatural.
Soldiers: don’t fight for slavery, fight for liberty.