Adapting to Uncertainty by Accepting It

Santiago Barraza Lopez describes how AI is transforming his relationship with uncertainty.

Accepting uncertainty became the only way forward

For years, I had measured my professional progress by how much I knew and how confident I felt about my abilities. AI challenged that completely. I began to question whether being good at my job meant knowing the latest developments or simply knowing how to adapt as everything changed. It was uncomfortable to accept that experience and hard work might not always provide the certainty I was used to.

I also started questioning how much of my personal time I was willing to sacrifice to stay relevant. I didn’t want every conversation, evening, or weekend to become another opportunity to learn or talk about AI. I began making a conscious effort to disconnect after work, even if that meant missing an announcement or falling behind on the latest developments. For the first time, I was choosing not to know everything.

I don’t regret moving into AI, but I no longer feel as certain about the decision as I once did. The technology isn’t going to slow down. All I know for sure is that we are living through one of the most important inflection points in recent history, and perhaps that’s what makes it all so overwhelming.

Santiago Barraza Lopez, I Work in AI, but I’m Burned Out and Can’t Keep Up

This is similar to how I intuited before that the rapid change in our world will become so prevalent that it will no longer be possible to just ride it out until the current wave of change subsides because the waves will be repeating quickly and even overlapping each other. Instead people have to evolve and learn how to live and be comfortable with uncertainty as a normal part of life. Not by chance, this is one of the characteristics that evolved individuals in the latter stages of adult growth and development learn to embrace themselves. So it seems like the times are necessitating the need for these evolved individuals.

Slowing Down to Leap Ahead

Ryan Gottfredson describing the evolved leadership capacities of a Self-Transforming Mind (Mind 3.0).

The ability to operate at a controlled pace. With a refined internal operating system, rarely will you find these individuals rushed. They create space for themselves, relationships, problem solving, learning, and mentoring others. They are resistant to getting caught up in day-to-day urgent needs.

Ryan Gottfredson, What is Vertical Development

I think for many of us, our lives may feel like a constant race. We might often say to ourselves, “Once I reach this point and achieve success with this, then I’ll slow down. But for now, I can’t.” Yet for evolved individuals described above, they realize the destination is just an illusion. There is only the here and now, what you do in the moment. So it’s more about your daily process that achieves outcomes for you, rather than trying to focus on and reach an outcome as a destination or end state.

Having a Conversation With Yourself to Bear Your Soul

Geddy Lee on how Neil Peart processed the loss of his wife and child by having a conversation with himself that helped bear his soul.

When you’re writing, you’re having a conversation with yourself. And that’s a great audience for him, so he could bear his soul. He could share all these thoughts about a million things in that form much more easily. And you establish a conversation with yourself to help you sort your heart out, to help you sort your emotions out. It’s really therapeutic and artful at the same time. So all those things are very appealing.

Geddy Lee, Neil Peart: No One’s Disciple

This mirrors what occurs within adult growth and development, as one grieves the loss of old one’s life and old sense of self. You’re basically having an intrapersonal relationship with yourself, understanding yourself at a much deeper level than you have ever done so before, thus allowing a larger sense of Self to emerge in the process.

WordPress.Com

Well this is pretty hilarious. I’ve been looking for an inexpensive way to host my WordPress site over the past few years and lo and behold it appears that WordPress.com is now the way to actually do this.

You see some years back, WordPress.com wasn’t really a viable option because to use the premium themes or plugins, you needed a higher WordPress plan which was something like $20 to $30 per month.

Today, however, WordPress.com is offering incredible value because it not only gives you access to all WordPress premium themes and plugins on the cheapest paid plan but it also gives you a huge savings if you pay for a year upfront.

So the lowest Personal paid plan on WordPress.com is now only $60 Canadian/year which is incredible.

That’s actually cheaper than Medium.com which charges $50 US/year which is about $70 Canadian/year. And Medium.com isn’t even a full-blown website platform. You’re just paying to get the ability to add a domain name to your publication and profile. That’s it.

All said and done, I can finally see myself sticking with WordPress for the long haul now in my retirement (well assuming WordPress doesn’t radically increase the price of their paid plans of course).

Each of Us Has a Unique Perspective on a Universal Experience

Applying creativity to one’s sense of self to transform oneself, which is also known as vertical development, is not a linear process but rather an emergent one.

You cannot think your way through this as a problem in a tradition sense because your current way of thinking and perceiving is in itself the problem.

In other words, your problem isn’t the problem that you perceive as impeding your way and making you feel stuck. Your perception of your problem (aka your mindset) is what’s actually impeding you.

This mirrors how Alfonso Montuori describes creativity as “getting out of your own way.”

This also mirrors how Joseph Campbell’s Hero’s Journey is effectively about “slaying” your old sense of self that stands in your way, so that your newer, larger sense of Self can emerge (i.e. Luke Skywalker slaying Darth Vader in the swamp, only to see his own face behind Darth Vader’s mask).

So to progress one has to instead feel their way through the process, perhaps going around in circles numerous times like within a maze, before something clicks and makes sense from multiple lived experiences that are felt and embodied rather than something just explained as knowledge.

If you watch YouTube videos by non-duality teachers like Rupert Spira (who actually doesn’t like to be called a teacher), you will see that that he often uses metaphors to try to help explain things (i.e. actor on a stage). Yet you also see the confusion of his students faces because they are trying to think their way through a process that has to be lived, felt, and experienced, not just thought about, to be understood.

In effect, you can’t fully relate to something you haven’t fully experienced yet.

The way I’ve described this process in the past is like you are exploring newer, unknown terrain within yourself, beyond the edge of your current sense of self, as this newer terrain represents an expanded sense of Self.

And this exploration is usually done through a portal which represents the ontological dissonance within your life.

So it’s not just a process of stepping through this portal into an unknown space and mapping it grid by grid in a linear, rational way because it feels more like you’re manually mapping it within very dense fog that makes it difficult see the relationship between everything to make sense of the terrain as a whole via triangulation.

To put this another way, this isn’t simply a process of just doing something. It’s more a process of enduring something.

So the question that is the quest before you is this.

Can you hold space for yourself over an extended period of time for enough newer experiences to be collected, so that they can cluster and crystallize, finally making sense of your Self as a larger whole?

And the reason you have to hold space for yourself is because you are continually fighting with your “self” in being within an uncertain, unknown space that initially feels wrong and unnatural on every level, even though this transformation is a natural process of change within life.

This is the experience of what ontological dissonance feels like, as it’s like cognitive dissonance but applied to your entire life and entire sense of being as a whole.

This is why I use Joseph Campbell’s Hero’s Journey as a lens for this but I’ve extended it into perceiving life as a role-playing game because the language of the Hero’s Journey already mirrors the language of role-playing games (i.e. adventure, heroes, quests, monsters, treasure, etc).

And this touches upon something else that’s important.

When a person goes through such a transformative life experience, they may feel like their experience is completely unique and thus no one has ever experienced it before.

Thus they may give a unique “name” to this experience and process because they believe it is something “new” that no one else has experienced before.

But it isn’t.

These transformational life experiences have been going on for multiple millennia, described by different cultures and civilizations in different ways and that’s what Joseph Campbell’s Hero’s Journey as a monomyth is an embodiment of.

It is a fictional story, an allegory, that relays truths about life.

And the main truth about life that it is trying to communicate is what transformational growth feels like.

In effect, Joseph Campbell’s Hero’s Journey embodies creativity applied to one’s sense of self as psychological development (aka vertical development).

This is why previously I would describe the framework of perceiving “life as a role-playing game” as “my” own framework.

But it’s not really “my” framework.

All I’m really doing is giving a new perspective to something old, known, and practiced as a scaffolding framework that many others have used different names to describe the experience of traversing and transforming oneself through an uncertain unknown.

But this is what I believe is actually unique about this universal experience.

Each person, through their own transformational growth process, can effectively helping humanity to perceive this old, timeless, universal experience in a new way.

In effect, the articulation of each person’s unique experience of this universal experience is each of our Hero’s Journey itself.

It is giving time and space for oneself for the creative process to emerge at its own pace, rather than trying to force it, which only collapses the emergent flow of the experience.

So again, there is no shortcut or bypass to this transformational process to speed it up, as forcing it only slows it down and stops it completely.

Rather it is a process that one has to immerse oneself within and sit within it for the creative emergence to occur.

And yet, the very act of most people will be to do the exact opposite, as I have experienced with others in the past.

Most people will not want to go through a process that does not have a certain outcome because they will not want to waste their time on something that doesn’t have a certain outcome.

Yet note how this mirrors with how many people approach life.

Most people want to figure out life before they live it.

“I need to figure out my passion and purpose first, so that I can live my life in the right way.”

Yet the paradox that leads to the breakthrough paradigm is that one figures out one’s life by actually living it, not thinking about it.

This effectively embodies what I mean when I say, “the adventure of your life.”

You will only make sense of your life by stepping into the uncertain unknown of it first and then reflecting back upon it (which mirrors Steve Job’s quote about “connecting the dots”).

This as a whole embodies the three primary perspectives of “change” as an adult which one can transition through by transforming oneself as an adult.

The first perspective sees change as threat to be avoided.

The second perspective see change as an opportunity.

The third perspective sees change as the creative ground of life itself.

This third perspective is effectively perceiving life as a playful, never-ending adventure.

But again, it can’t be explained.

It can only be felt, lived, and experienced to be understood.

This is why what I’ve explained here is just a waypoint in my own ongoing never-ending journey of understanding and making sense of this all, as I will have to continue to immerse myself within more lived experiences to widen my understanding of it as a whole some more.

Perceiving The Future of Work Through the Lens of a Roleplaying Game

The future of work belongs to people and organizations that understand the following.

The deepest competitive advantage is not intelligence.

It is developmental capacity.

Who can adapt fastest?

Who can transform identity fastest?

Who can hold complexity without collapse?

Who can turn crisis into initiation?

That is the real game.

AI will automate tasks.

But consciousness cannot be outsourced.

The future belongs to those who can level up their level of consciousness.

My Journey of Integration

Showing how my life has come full circle, from playing within imaginary worlds to imagining a world of play.

The following is a infographic that I created with the newer version of ChatGPT Images 2.0.

It is my first attempt at trying to articulate how I am a multipotentialite whose life’s work is transdisciplinary in nature.

This is shown by the different domains of knowledge I’ve acquired over my lifetime, starting with (1) gaming at the top and ending with (8) vertical development.

From each of these domains is contributed a different aspect that are collectively integrated together in a newer framework for life which perceives it as a roleplaying game.

This infographic is not perfect by any means but it does give a rough “big picture” of my life’s work, as well as the complexity in trying to integrate all of the different aspects of it into a cohesive, coherent, meaningful framework.

No More Working Out Loud

No more working out loud…to get validation and permission from others.

Time for creating silently…to fully trust the experience happening through me.

How to Stop Stepping Away?

There’s a space of groundlessness in front of me. In fact, I can see myself standing within it.

Yet I don’t know how to get from here to there. I don’t know how to step into something seemingly right in front of me that I already seem to be within.

Perhaps it’s because I’m already within this space and it’s not a question of how do I step forwards into it but about how do I stop stepping away from it.

Letting Our Armour Fall Apart

As we become more conscious of our thoughts and emotions and look at them with kindhearted interest and curiosity, we begin to see how we armor ourselves against pain. And we see how that armor also cuts us off from the pain—and the beauty—of other people. But as we let go of our repetitive stories and fixed ideas about ourselves—particularly deep-seated feelings of “I’m not okay”—the armor starts to fall apart, and we open into the spaciousness of our true nature, into who we really are beyond our transitory thoughts and emotions. We see that our armor is made up of nothing more than habits and fears, and we begin to feel that we can let those go.

Pema Chödrön, Living Beautifully: With Uncertainty and Change

Life is a role-playing game. Yet it’s not like a conventional role-playing game.

Within a conventional role-playing game, the belief is that the stronger and heavier armour you have, the more you can defend yourself and the more successful you will be within the game.

Life doesn’t work that way.

The more you try to psychologically defend yourself and armour up, the more you are actually separating yourself from life and others.

In other words, the pain you’re experiencing is trying to teach you something. So it’s not about avoiding the pain but trying to understand what it’s trying to tell you as a growth opportunity.

Therefore, the focus of life as a role-playing game is to learn to completely drop your armour and fully embrace life, experiencing the highs and lows of it to the fullest so to understand what it means to be a human being at a deeper level (which may take a lifetime for you to do so).

So again, life works like a conventional role-playing game in reverse. By the time you reach adulthood (which is like your onboarding experience for the game of life), you’ve actually built up a lot of psychological armour which separates you from understanding and embracing life at a deeper level.

And as you progress through your life, the focus isn’t to maintain and strength that armour but to let it fall apart and fall off, revealing lighter layers of armour below which you eventually can learn to let go of as well.

Eventually late in one’s life, if one has matured and developed enough, one has completely let go of all of their psychological armour and can fully embrace life without the weight of it.