Minda Zetlin over at Inc. has a great article entitled UC Berkley ‘Adulting’ Class College Is a Failure of Our Whole Society that articulates one of the larger systemic problems that we’re collectively creating as a society. But instead of being aware of what we’re creating and taking responsibility for it (so we can change it), we’re instead shifting the blame to those who are being hit the hardest by it, calling them “wimps” for being unable to deal with an entire societal force that is effectively working against them, rather than for them.
But I also believe that if you find yourself criticizing an entire generation, you should stop for a moment and consider that generations are made up of individuals. If all those individuals are doing the same wrong thing at the same time, it’s likely there’s some societal force pushing them in the wrong direction.
This is actually an easy way to determine when a narrative for a society (i.e. The American Dream) is no longer working. Instead of empowering people, it begins to disempower them.
What I find remarkable is how this societal force mirrors that of the narrative and culture within most conventional organizations. People are so micro-managed, down to the minute and second, that there is no room left for their potential uniqueness to emerge and unfold, as there is no time and space reserved for it.
I’m watching these forces play out on the young people I know, and what I’m seeing is super-serious, very hard-working young adults who hurry from class to job to study to class again. They have little of anything that might look like unstructured free time, known to be highly important for mental and emotional development.
It’s up to the rest of us, both young and old, to figure out how to change things. So that young people can have enough breathing room to figure out on their own what it takes to be a grownup and how to become one.
This all ties into this larger broken societal narrative that I’ve mentioned before. We are a society focused on “work, work, work” and nothing else, thinking that the more busy we are with our busyness, the more successful we will be. We’re learning the hard way that it’s actually making things far worse, not better.
Those exploring The Future of Work in the recent past have realized we need time for learning as well, creating an ongoing cycle of “learning & working”. But today we need to go beyond even this. Without the time and space for play on a larger level (i.e. the ability to question our existing reality and step outside of it into something new), we will never achieve the creative trinity—playing, learning, & working—necessary to live within this new world emerging.
In effect, it is play at this higher level which gives us the ability to be fluid and flexibly adapt to the rapidly changing times, letting us unlearn and redefine ourselves in newer radical ways we haven’t even fully imagined as yet. Without play, we will remain stuck within these social constructs of the past, with them becoming disempowering prisons of limitations, rather than empowering platforms of possibilities, as they once were when created.
Today I’m turning 54. The past twenty years seem to have flown by pretty fast, with a lot happening to me since December 1999. Back then, everyone was freaking out about the digital cataclysm about to happen at the turn of the millennium. Little did we known then that a different cataclysm would be happening in a couple of years, with the tech bubble bursting in 2001.
Today we’re at a point where we could be facing a global cataclysm of another kind, with climate change reaching an irreversible tipping point within the next decade, yet its emerging effects are already being seen and felt today. Collectively, on many fronts, radical change is here and here to stay. The stabler and simpler times we lived within the past, now seeming like a distant dream, are all but fading from our reality.
Twenty years ago, I was a radically different person. I was seemingly at the top of the world, working as a Senior Web Developer for a local web firm whose clients were some of the most notable video game publishers in the world. As an avid video gamer and an online community builder, this was my dream job. I felt like I really didn’t desire or need anything else, as I had reached the pinnacle of my life. Little did I realize at the time, that my own bubble of life would burst and I’d be shown a much larger world of meaning than I could have ever possibly imagined.
Life is Changing, Evolving, & Emerging Constantly
During the next decade, standing in the blasted remains of the tech economy and my own life, I questioned and explored everything, no longer taking things at face value and no longer accepting the “religion” of the status quo. While beginning to explore The Future of Work and how it related to transforming organizations, I also began exploring personal development and how it related to transforming individuals. Later, I would realize that the two were actually entwined. In effect, when personal development becomes the embedded embodiment of organizational development (aka collective leadership), that’s when the real creative magic occurs, as both the individual and organization socially innovate and evolve as one.
Even more so, I realized that the creative process for both was exactly the same, as they were fractal mirrors of each other but just at different scales. In effect, just as the organization is striving to integrate itself internally, bridging the siloed, fractured aspects of itself, of which some parts of it were more marginalized than others, so too were individuals trying to integrate themselves internally, bridging siloed, fractured aspects of themselves, of which some parts of them were marginalized more than others as well. Therefore, just as the organization is trying to weave itself together using social creativity, so too is the individual.
The more I explored and researched these aspects of life that are seemingly off the edge and radar of the conventional known world, the more I realized that the stability of life that I had grown up with was actually an illusion. Nothing in life is permanent. Things are always in a constant state of change, regardless if we can see that change or not. And we often don’t see it because our perceptions and beliefs blind us from them, like lenses that only let us see that which we wish to see.
Today, I realize that we are all evolving in stages of development and based upon the stage we have achieved, we may radically see the world differently than others, with different values and meaning overlaying it. For a lot of people on the initial conventional end of this spectrum of development, this is pretty hard for them to comprehend. However, once you see how these stages are mapped to how a person logically acts in a leadership capacity, suddenly you may see your last worst boss or the wonderful leader in your current company.
Redefining Personality Through Character
The reason I’m slowly lead up to this point is because it helps us to take the next step in rethinking and reframing something that often isn’t seen in this way. What I’m talking about is personality and why so many people seem to misunderstand it. In effect, there is this assumption that you can take a personality profile test and suddenly, voila, I completely understand myself and my whole life makes sense. This couldn’t be further from the truth and I think this is why personality profile test results can often not make sense to someone, nor help them fully make sense of their life as a whole.
For myself, I was fortunate with my personality profile assessment because I did see aspects of myself within parts of it when I first took it but it didn’t make sense as a whole at the time. However, as time progressed and I read many different interpretations of my personality type and I evolved to higher stages of development, something suddenly clicked in not only understanding my personality but also in understanding how everything interconnected with each other in a larger way.
What I realized is that a person’s personality and character are like the two threads of a DNA strand which are bonded together in a working relationship with one another, striving to help the genetic identity of that person to evolve to their fullest, natural form. To help clarify what I mean by these two things, personality is defined as something innate within you, whereas character is something that is learnt.
Now while people may understand their character as something that is learnt from others and thus is evolving and being mastered over time, where the confusion arises is when they misunderstand that the same thing isn’t happening with their personality as well. This occurs because people assume that if their personality is innate, it should be stable and permanent, thus not evolving. While your personality is a stable core, your understanding of it is what is constantly evolving and changing, with your mastery of it being your increasing understanding of it.
Making Music with Personality & Character
To help understand this, imagine coming across an object on the ground and picking it up and touching the strings upon it. Suddenly for a moment, wondrous music comes out of it, making you feel more alive than you’ve ever felt before. As you try again, the sound comes out more clumsily this time. Every few minutes, again a spark of that glorious music comes out again and you feel totally alive. This is your personality. It is something innate within us, waiting to be revealed and expressed.
Walking further down the road, you come across an old man who sees the instrument in your hands and tells you that you have found quite the treasure there. You ask him if he’s familiar with it and he says he is, having seen similar instruments in the past. You ask if he could teach you how to play it and he agrees, giving you a small lesson that helps you string together a full minute of music that makes you feel amazing in the process. This old man, this teacher, is your character.
As you continue your development, your mastery of your personality continues with the help of your character. Yet at the same time, as you create newer, more complex compositions that reveal your true nature and abilities, your personality reminds your character of deeper teachings that it can convey to you. Thus in this way, both your personality and your character are helping each other, stretching and tuning you to your True Self, making you realize that this instrument that you are playing is actually you. And the more you play with the composition of your life, the more the real you emerges.
The Meaningful Potential of Your Personality
To sum up, the assessment of your personality provides you with the full potential of who you are, your innate self within. This doesn’t mean you will understand this potential or be able to utilize it yet at this point in your life, which is why it can be so confusing for some people to understand it immediately. On top of that, depending upon who has created the assessment, the metaphors used to help explain your personality type to you may not make any sense because you may not relate to those types of metaphors.
For example, for my personality type as an INFP, different ways of describing it have been as a healer or a mediator. If those roles don’t relate to me, I may not understand the meaning they’re trying to get across. For myself though, I did relate to both of those roles as metaphors but another role, as an integrator, seemed even more relatable, since I used to provide computer systems support and I’ve heard of a systems integrator as a career path (which I nearly went to college for). But instead of being a systems integrator, my personality relates more to being a social integrator, both on an individual and collective level, particularly as it relates to helping individuals or organizations understand their core identity.
If I then pair the above personality development with my growth and mastery of the stages of development, which would equate to my character development (or cultural development from a organizational standpoint), the higher my stage of development, the greater the understanding I will have of my personality (which further eventually reveals my passion and purpose in life). What this means is that I will not begin to truly understand myself at a deeper level of meaning until I have hopefully reached these higher stages of development as I get older.
What’s amazing about this though is that as one evolves their character through these stages of development, one becomes more malleable, being able to stretch their personality in ways they couldn’t before. For example, when I was younger, I was highly introverted and petrified of speaking to people I didn’t know. Over the years though, I’ve become much more extroverted at times, especially if I’m trying to communicate something of meaningful importance about my life’s work. In terms of recharging myself though, I still need be alone, away from everyone, just having some time and space for myself.
It seems as though the number one thing preventing people and misleading them in understanding and mastering their passion is their misunderstanding of what passion is in the first place. As an example, I just stumbled across an interview with Robert Greene, the author of the book Mastery, and how he indicates that the recommendation to “live your passion” is a cliche and shouldn’t be done. Instead he recommends that you instead figure out and gain the awareness of knowing “what you love” and then work towards it.
Why this boggles my mind is because he just clearly articulated the process for understanding and mastering your passion, since doing “what you love” is your passion. So he has effectively just said “don’t follow your passion, instead follow your passion”. In effect, many of these people who are trashing passion are actually articulating what passion is the clearest. It’s actually quite hilarious and remarkable at the same time.
What is the Conventional Meaning of Passion?
So if this is the case though, what within his mind and others are people thinking passion is instead? The word that immediately comes to mind is something frivolous, like a passing fancy or interest. Let me reassure you. Your passion is not something frivolous or just your current “interest”. Rather it forms the bedrock, foundation, or cornerstone of your life, even if you’re not aware of it at first.
Another word that seems to come to mind when people think of passion is happiness. Let me reassure you that while happiness can arise out of your passion, so too can a lot of pain. Therefore happiness isn’t an ideal word to encapsulate it. A far better word is that passion provides meaning within your life. Thus while mastering your passion can lead to a roller coaster of highs and lows in your life, the meaning that arises from it is worth the journey.
Passion is Love
I think the simplest way to understand your passion is that it is something that you love doing. A lot of people may immediately misconstrue even this though because they may not fully understand what love entails. They may think love is a light, fluffy, happy relationship with someone but it isn’t (i.e “The honeymoon’s over darling!”). Love means wading through a lot of pain and suffering with that person because that’s where the deep meaningful experiences arise out of the relationship and truly bond those people together as one.
If anything, I think this is why following your passion isn’t some delightful flight of fancy, as the conventional mindset might project, but more an epic hero’s journey of trials and tribulations. In effect, pursuing your passion will be the most difficult thing you will do in your life because you’re effectively “birthing” a deeper understanding of yourself (i.e. “Know thyself”) which is very painful but also a beautifully transformative experience that will bring a lot of meaning into your life.
Passion Requires Mastery
All said and done, this is why I think Robert Greene’s work on his book Mastery is so poignant to this discussion because passion isn’t something that you suddenly understand and achieve overnight. Rather it is something that emerges and reveals itself to you in stages over the progression of your life.
For example, in the initial conventional half of my life, my “passion” evolved from games to computers to eventually the Web. Upon reflection of this part of my life, I realized I was articulating just the surface of my passion in a technical sense. You often see others do this in the same way when they say their “job” is their “passion”.
Once you live your life long enough though, you begin to realize your job can’t be your passion. Why? Because that would mean if my job became obsolete, I would no longer have a passion which is absurd. Thus your job isn’t your passion but rather your passion is a foundation of your job that gives it meaning and enjoyment (even if it can be difficult at times).
That’s why the post conventional second half of my life has helped me dig deeper within myself and reveal the more meaningful social core of what my passion is really all about, revealing its roots within meaning and identity. Thinking back, I realized this had always been there below the surface. For example, I loved playing role playing games like D&D and later World of Warcraft online because I loved creating characters and seeing the inner character of those I played with, revealing their motivations and values in overcoming the challenges within these virtual, imaginary realms.
No Conventional Path Ahead
In closing though, I think if there is anything I don’t agree with that Robert Greene said in his interview, it’s that you can “plan” a clear path for yourself in understanding and mastering your passion. This couldn’t be farther from the truth because if you truly want to express your unique, True Self as he indicated in the video, you’re often mashing up different parts of yourself that are normally and conventionally kept separate, just like the departmental silos in a conventional organizations. In terms of creativity, this means going beyond “this OR that thinking” and evolving to “this AND that thinking”.
This is where you start going into uncharted territory and effectively are leaving the map of the conventionally known world. That’s because you often really just can’t go to a mentor to learn how to craft your unique hybrid career but instead have to really break new ground on your own. That said though, more than anything today, we do need mentors and coaches who can help support us in the commonalities of exploring this “undiscovered country” within us all, no matter where our vision is leading us.
For example, Robert talks about the OODA loop, as a process of orienting yourself and your actions within the context of military combat operations. This is what we need more than anything nowadays, a process—a new way of being—to explore the unknown of ourselves, a sort of wayfinding for the soul if you will. This is why for myself, I’ve found work relating to understanding the stages of development in life to be greatly beneficial because while they won’t provide a clear 1-2-3 progressive map of what I’m working towards specifically, they will provide me with waypoints to help me understand where I’m at and how to cope with the challenges at my current stage.
To put this into different words, it’s like getting a Player’s Handbook for The Game of Life and being told each “level” your character will encounter, overcoming different challenges and receiving greater capabilities as one “levels up“. So while we are exploring within the undiscovered country of ourselves, these waypoints are like trail markers left behind by other travellers of greater wisdom who have already wandered these ways before us but are helping us along on our own journey now.
While searching within my knowledge base today, I stumbled across a page I had saved from Kyle Pearce’sSocial Creators website some years back, with the following quote standing out for me.
Social Creators is a new kind of do-it-yourself online education where you get to unleash your creativity by telling your stories, develop your creative confidence by testing your ideas on other members and build an online audience that is excited to hear from you.
When I read the words “unleash your creativity by telling your stories“, I immediately thought of Dick Bolles talking about taking the stories of your life and breaking them down to their “atomic level” to understand yourself better, so as to “take an inventory” of yourself.
Since I hadn’t been on Kyle’s site in a while though, I decided to browse around and found a great article on Steven Kotler talking about flow, with a great listing of quotes on the subject. What I was seeing here was a new perspective of an old familiar quest I had been working on, particularly with the quotes emphasizing turning “work into play”, “tinkering our mindset”, and stepping beyond our “restricted circle of potential being” by stepping “out of the way” of our sense of self.
After all of these thoughts collided within my mind for a few minutes though, something emerged visually, a metaphor that provided a language of understanding for what I was struggling to try to articulate. What I was seeing was the portal again. But this time, I was understanding what it was, how it was constructed, and what it achieved (again in a metaphorical or symbolic sense).
Think of the portal as a symbolic representation of the unknown within you. In effect, we think we know ourselves but there is a deeper, more intuitive being below the surface of ourselves that we can feel but often can’t find the words to articulate. The reason for this is because this greater sense of self is often beyond the language and mindset (aka worldview) of our current sense of self. At the same time, this unknown self also represents an unknown larger world of possibilities, as our world is just a projection of ourselves.
What became apparent to me with this collision of thoughts was that this portal—this paradigm that we’re trying to understand so we can step through it—is constructed by “closing a loop”. Yet this isn’t some simple daily metric on an Apple Watch that we can easily accomplish. It is a deeper understanding of something that is beyond our current framework of mind. Thus the best way to try to understand this unknown is to “walk around it virtually” within our heads to fully understand it from multiple perspectives and see it as a whole.
What I realized I was talking about here was creating a new world(view) by seeing the greater overarching narrative of it from the multiple different stories describing it. This mirrored how I was understanding my life as a whole on a much greater level as well by overlapping the multiple different stories within it and seeing the narrative that emerged from the brightened triangulation of them, revealing my passion and purpose in turn as this narrative.
The last thing that evidently emerged from these thoughts was the process of “teleportation” through this symbolic “portal”. Again these words are just metaphors to help provide a language for this creative process of transformation and social innovation but nevertheless the words and their meaning, while not literal, hold a certain truth to them. That’s because the process of teleportation through this portal requires one to “disintegrate” oneself and “reintegrate” oneself on the other side. In effect, one has to deconstruct one’s sense of self first, so that one can reconstruct oneself in a larger, broader way.
The simplest way to understand this often painful process of letting go of one’s sense of self is more commonly known as unlearning. Another way of thinking of it is visualizing yourself as a network with nodes as experiences and links as relationships between those experiences. The social construct of ourselves, our identity, is not based within the nodes but within the way we relate our life’s experiences (nodes) to one another, thus making connections and insights between things. So to reconstruct our sense of self in a much broader way, we “just” need to shatter these relational links between our life experiences and make newer connections.
As I was told by Valdis Krebs some years back, “You are the bridge.” Well it appears another way of describing this is, “You are the portal.” In effect, by questioning our world and stepping beyond the status quo, we are not only deconstructing our world but our selves in the process, creating a new self and a new world which provides us with a larger space of possibilities to step into.
My strongest ability is pattern recognition but, more importantly, seeing patterns in far fewer cycles than others seem to see them within. For example, I can see cultural patterns in an organization in days or weeks, whereas someone else might see them in months or years.
In addition, seeing connections between unusual things is the same as seeing patterns for me. Doesn’t matter if it’s seeing patterns between silos in an organization or different areas of my second brain knowledge base.
I think this is why I usually excelled at problem solving back when I did computer support or web development back during the conventional first half of my life. I’d see patterns, connections between things, and people would say “How the hell did you figure that out & see that?”
Grouping Up for “Wicked Problems”
Note how this worked out fine for me during this part of my life because in these roles I was solving these problems on my own. In effect, once I saw the patterns, I could solve the problem myself (by just reinstalling a software driver or changing a few lines of code).
Now that we’re all trying to work together now and solve these larger, complex “wicked problems” in the world, so this no longer works for me because I have to somehow show you what I’m seeing. Yet for me to do so, I effectively have to build a world(view) of thoughts to do so.
More than that even, I may have to build worlds upon worlds, scaffolding each other like layers of Markov blankets, because you may not have the depth to see with the sight I have. Thus for you, it may seem like going down a rabbit hole, into a maze that makes no sense.
Gamemastering Your World(view)
Yet what’s becoming more and more apparent to me though is that if I had progressively summarized my research over the years extensively onto my website as a second, external brain, I could have easily provided a simple link to people as a portal to these worlds.
And just like when I was a young boy playing Colossal Cave Adventure on a mainframe computer back in the mid 70s, you could have explored these digital worlds of thoughts at your own leisure, adventuring through the questing questions in my mind and where they lead.
I didn’t do this though (as it would have been a job in itself which I wasn’t getting paid for). So now I have to extract these worlds from my mind which seems like a monumental process of scaffolding and work.
If your life was a MMORPG game like World of Warcraft, this would be the equivalent of “banking resources” you’ve found on quests that you could combine later to craft and create new things. In this case, my key questions about life are like quests that help me recognize and realize important information I come across and find, letting me then bank it for later when I need to refer back to it and connect it with other information to craft an article that may provide a treasure of insights on my life’s adventures as a whole.
The basis of this approach is that you’re not planning out your life so much as letting it design itself emergently just by living it and seeing what you’re focusing your attention upon. Then over time, as your different primary interests (aka quests) reveal themselves, you start seeing how they can in turn be connected emergently, revealing your life’s passion and purpose in turn, which are like your talents in an MMO game that give you the ability to fluidly respec yourself to different contextual situations as needed (just like you can in a game like WoW).
Anyways, definitely looking forward to this new feature in iOS 13. If it’s as good as it looks, I might be able to dump Print Friendly completely and use just iOS itself for creating my PDFs.
Anti-Hero by Richard Wilson, a Director of Osca, is one of my most favourite books that I’ve read some years back (although unfortunately it appears you can no longer download it as a PDF). If you haven’t read it yet, I highly recommend you do so (again unfortunately only online). Below is a four minute video giving a quick overview of the book.
Expanding Our Meaning
After reading the book though, I almost wish Richard had entitled it something else. Why? Because we still need heroes today. It’s just that the type of heroes we need are not the same kind of heroes that we had as yesterday. The meaning of what they were has changed, expanded, and become something more, just like how the meaning of everything else is changing as well.
To explain what I mean, here’s a quote from the book.
That’s why we must expand what it means to be a hero and a leader.
Richard Wilson, Anti-Hero
If you go to any website on leadership and organizational change (i.e. Harvard Business Review), they will reiterate over and over again that the words leader and leadership are being reframed and redefined today becoming something much more meaningful than what they used to be in the past. And yet no one is saying we should stop using these words and start using words like anti-leader and anti-leadership instead, even though the meaning of leader and leadership seem to be the opposite of what they used to be.
Expanding Our Selves
In fact, I would even say that by understanding what a true hero is, we can see how transformative learning is an integral aspect of being a hero. A perfect example of this is Joseph Campbell’s work on the Hero’s Journey, the Monomyth, that is a narrative of transformation that many cultures have used throughout history.
Actually if you look at the process of the Hero’s Journey, you’ll see that it embodies a radical paradigm shift that a person goes through—a sort of “U turn” in their life—that Richard mentions is necessary in his video overview above. Even more so, if you compare this to Otto Scharmer’s U Theory which embodies making a transformational U-turn, it mirrors it quite closely as well, describing it as a presencing “journey”.
So all said and done, it’s not new words (i.e anti-hero) that we need today but new meanings, like everything else (i.e. leadership, management, etc). In fact, even the meaning of creativity itself is being expanded, becoming so much more than it was before. And I think these “journeys” that we go through encapsulate this process of social creativity.
In an email discussion I previously had with Richard Barrett, author of Evolutionary Coaching, he emphasized some words to me that stood out because I felt something intuitive with them, yet I couldn’t quite articulate their meaning clearly at the time.
Today, a few things jumped out at me, all at once, that reminded me of his words.
Provide Space to Listen to Yourself
The first thing I was reminded of was the above quote by the Dalai Lama but specifically within the context of listening to oneself. In effect, if one is always talking about what one already knows (so as to hopefully sound like an “expert” who knows everything to others) then one isn’t leaving much space for listening to oneself and hearing something new emerging from oneself.
Thus this ability to pause and listen to oneself is critically essential for one’s growth. For me, the initial Connecting stage of social creativity encompasses this. One begins questioning things which causes one to pause and reflect about their life’s assumptions and beliefs which in turn starts a conversation with oneself which requires listening to oneself.
Weaving the Community Within
This in turn reminded of the core of social creativity as this capacity to weave a larger sense of self which begins within the Empowering stage, as different aspects of oneself start coming together and interacting with each other. A metaphor for it would be seeing yourself as a “multitude”, a community if you will, that is coming together for the first time around a common cause. In doing so, this community of you creates this feeling of greater space and freedom within you, thus in turn feeling like a larger sense of self.
I believe a similar experience of this would be holding space for oneself, where one begins to “trust their own intuition and wisdom” because one is “withholding judgement and shame” of oneself. In doing so, we begin to “feel empowered to make (our own) decisions” which is when this weaving between the silos of ourself begins to occur.
This in turn reminded me of Dan Oestrich’s work on Following SELF. Dan believes that discovering oneself isn’t a process of “courageously stepping out into uncomfortable spaces” but rather learning to step into a deeper, comfortable space of one’s own Self.
The metaphor that best encapsulates this for me is seeing one’s Self as an expanded inner space, a wilderness. But not a wilderness of dangerous beasts but rather one where the wild unknown of you can roam freely and thus emerge safely from the darkness and shelter of the forest to roam openly on the plains, sharing your potential with the world around you.
Gravitating Towards Our Self
Actually now that I think about it, this also ties into John Hagel’s work with The Power of Pull. Rather than taking the conventional approach of trying to push our way into changing ourselves and others, often by trying to control the situation. We are letting go and letting ourselves be pulled toward our true selves.
In effect, by creating these open safe spaces both within ourselves and within our organizations, we create a vacuum which nature naturally wants to fill. In doing so, these unseen potentials, from both within ourselves and within our organizations, have the room to step forth and fill this void, finally revealing themselves in the process.
In comparison, the typical conventional approach is one where the internal space within ourselves or within our organizations is filled to capacity, constantly busy and micromanaged distractedly, allowing little to no room for anything new or potentially wondrous to emerge because of it.
A Beacon of Change
All said and done, I get the feeling that I’m trying to push things too hard by talking too much about what I already know to try to get people to notice me. This of course means that I’m not spending that time listening to myself and thus seeing and noticing my own Self. So I just need to let go more, “surrendering”, allowing more reflective space for my own True Self to emerge.
Most important of all, if I’m still interacting with others to “get people to notice me”, it means my lower stages of development (as noted in Richard Barrett’s work) are still “deficient” and “dependent” upon society. Until I can let go of being dependent upon society (in terms of conventional beliefs), not much will change with me and I won’t evolve fully (aka “level up”) to the next stage.
It’s funny. I’m reminded of a vision I had some years back. It was feeling like I was lost in the fog alone. When I heard someone else in the distance, I realized I could project a light from within myself towards them. But when I started yelling, “Hello, can you see me? I’m over here!”, my light went out. What this vision was telling me is that our “light” within us is meant to be used to light up others or light the way for others. If we try to selfishly light ourselves instead (i.e Hey, look at me, I’m great!), the light falters and dims.
Right now, I’m trying to selfishly light up and put the spotlight on myself for my own gains. This doesn’t work and only darkens myself. I need to instead put the spotlight on others even more so which in turns lights up my life’s work in an indirect, paradoxical, zen sort of way (i.e Tao Te Ching).