Category: Life’s a Role-Playing Game

Applying creativity to one’s sense of self to transform oneself, which is also known as vertical development, is not a linear process but rather an emergent one.

You cannot think your way through this as a problem in a tradition sense because your current way of thinking and perceiving is in itself the problem.

In other words, your problem isn’t the problem that you perceive as impeding your way and making you feel stuck. Your perception of your problem (aka your mindset) is what’s actually impeding you.

This mirrors how Alfonso Montuori describes creativity as “getting out of your own way.”

This also mirrors how Joseph Campbell’s Hero’s Journey is effectively about “slaying” your old sense of self that stands in your way, so that your newer, larger sense of Self can emerge (i.e. Luke Skywalker slaying Darth Vader in the swamp, only to see his own face behind Darth Vader’s mask).

So to progress one has to instead feel their way through the process, perhaps going around in circles numerous times like within a maze, before something clicks and makes sense from multiple lived experience that are felt and embodied rather than something just explained as knowledge.

If you watch YouTube videos by non-duality teachers like Rupert Spira (who actually doesn’t like to be called a teacher), you will see that that he often uses metaphors to try to help explain things (i.e. actor on a stage). Yet you also see the confusion of his students faces because they are trying to think their way through a process that has to be lived, felt, and experienced, not just thought about, to be understood.

In effect, you can’t fully relate to something you haven’t fully experienced yet.

The way I’ve described this process in the past is like you are exploring newer, unknown terrain within yourself, beyond the edge of your current sense of self, as this newer terrain represents an expanded sense of Self.

And this exploration is usually done through a portal which represents the ontological dissonance within your life.

So it’s not just a process of stepping through this portal into an unknown space and mapping it grid by grid in a linear, rational way because it feels more like you’re manually mapping it within very dense fog that makes it difficult see the relationship between everything to make sense of the terrain as a whole via triangulation.

To put this another way, this isn’t simply a process of just doing something. It’s more a process of enduring something.

So the question that is the quest before you is this.

Can you hold space for yourself over an extended period of time for enough newer experiences to be collected, so that they can cluster and crystallize, finally making sense of your Self as a larger whole?

And the reason you have to hold space for yourself is because you are continually fighting with your “self” in being within an uncertain, unknown space that initially feels wrong and unnatural on every level, even though this transformation is a natural process of change within life.

This is the experience of what ontological dissonance feels like, as it’s like cognitive dissonance but applied to your entire life and entire sense of being as a whole.

This is why I use Joseph Campbell’s Hero’s Journey as a lens for this but I’ve extended it into perceiving life as a role-playing game because the language of the Hero’s Journey already mirrors the language of role-playing games (i.e. adventure, heroes, quests, monsters, treasure, etc).

And this touches upon something else that’s important.

When a person goes through such a transformative life experience, they may feel like their experience is completely unique and thus no one has ever experienced it before.

Thus they may give a unique “name” to this experience and process because they believe it is something “new” that no one else has experienced before.

But it isn’t.

These transformational life experiences have been going on for multiple millennia, described by different cultures and civilizations in different ways and that’s what Joseph Campbell’s Hero’s Journey as a monomyth is an embodiment of.

It is a fictional story, an allegory, that relays truths about life.

And the main truth about life that it is trying to communicate is what transformational growth feels like.

In effect, Joseph Campbell’s Hero’s Journey embodies creativity applied to one’s sense of self as psychological development (aka vertical development).

This is why previously I would describe the framework of perceiving “life as a role-playing game” as “my” own framework.

But it’s not really “my” framework.

All I’m really doing is giving a new perspective to something old, known, and practiced as a scaffolding framework that many others have used different names to describe the experience of traversing and transforming oneself through an uncertain unknown.

But this is what I believe is actually unique about this universal experience.

Each person, through their own transformational growth process, can effectively helping humanity to perceive this old, timeless, universal experience in a new way.

In effect, the articulation of each person’s unique experience of this universal experience is each of our Hero’s Journey itself.

It is giving time and space for oneself for the creative process to emerge at its own pace, rather than trying to force it, which only collapses the emergent flow of the experience.

So again, there is no shortcut or bypass to this transformational process to speed it up, as forcing it only slows it down and stops it completely.

Rather it is a process that one has to immerse oneself within and sit within it for the creative emergence to occur.

And yet, the very act of most people will be to do the exact opposite, as I have experienced with others in the past.

Most people will not want to go through a process that does not have a certain outcome because they will not want to waste their time on something that doesn’t have a certain outcome.

Yet note how this mirrors with how many people approach life.

Most people want to figure out life before they live it.

“I need to figure out my passion and purpose first, so that I can live my life in the right way.”

Yet the paradox that leads to the breakthrough paradigm is that one figures out one’s life by actually living it, not thinking about it.

This effectively embodies what I mean when I say, “the adventure of your life.”

You will only make sense of your life by stepping into the uncertain unknown of it first and then reflecting back upon it (which mirrors Steve Job’s quote about “connecting the dots”).

This as a whole embodies the three primary perspectives of “change” as an adult which one can transition through by transforming oneself as an adult.

The first perspective sees change as threat to be avoided.

The second perspective see change as an opportunity.

The third perspective sees change as the creative ground of life itself.

This third perspective is effectively perceiving life as a playful, never-ending adventure.

But again, it can’t be explained.

It can only be felt, lived, and experienced to be understood.

This is why what I’ve explained here is just a waypoint in my own ongoing never-ending journey of understanding and making sense of this all, as I will have to continue to immerse myself within more lived experiences to widen my understanding of it as a whole some more.

The future of work belongs to people and organizations that understand the following.

The deepest competitive advantage is not intelligence.

It is developmental capacity.

Who can adapt fastest?

Who can transform identity fastest?

Who can hold complexity without collapse?

Who can turn crisis into initiation?

That is the real game.

AI will automate tasks.

But consciousness cannot be outsourced.

The future belongs to those who can level up their level of consciousness.

The following is a infographic that I created with the newer version of ChatGPT Images 2.0.

It is my first attempt at trying to articulate how I am a multipotentialite whose life’s work is transdisciplinary in nature.

This is shown by the different domains of knowledge I’ve acquired over my lifetime, starting with (1) gaming at the top and ending with (8) vertical development.

From each of these domains is contributed a different aspect that are collectively integrated together in a newer framework for life which perceives it as a roleplaying game.

This infographic is not perfect by any means but it does give a rough “big picture” of my life’s work, as well as the complexity in trying to integrate all of the different aspects of it into a cohesive, coherent, meaningful framework.

As we become more conscious of our thoughts and emotions and look at them with kindhearted interest and curiosity, we begin to see how we armor ourselves against pain. And we see how that armor also cuts us off from the pain—and the beauty—of other people. But as we let go of our repetitive stories and fixed ideas about ourselves—particularly deep-seated feelings of “I’m not okay”—the armor starts to fall apart, and we open into the spaciousness of our true nature, into who we really are beyond our transitory thoughts and emotions. We see that our armor is made up of nothing more than habits and fears, and we begin to feel that we can let those go.

Pema Chödrön, Living Beautifully: With Uncertainty and Change

In one of his presentations, Richard Barrett talked about how the fears one encounters are related to our needs and how while we may overcome these fears at an earlier stage in our lives, we don’t really overcome them completely. That comes at a later stage in our lives, where we have to face and overcome them completely, but the challenge to do so is monumentally greater and more complex.

This always reminds me of what happens in a role-playing game or MMORPG when undertaking a quest chain or raid dungeon, whereby earlier in it you often face monsters that seem difficult to overcome but you’re able to do so. However later, you encounter the “boss” monster and quickly realize that the previous monsters you encountered were just “minions”. That’s because this “boss” monster is massively challenging and extremely difficult to overcome because of its cunning and complexity.

I feel like I’m at this point in my life where I’m trying to completely let go of this fear that is embodied as this “boss” monster. And this fear is the primary obstacle that is standing in the way of me freely expressing my life’s work.

So what is this fear?

If I could relate it to anything, I would say it relates to a need for belonging which is a basic psychological need, initially acquired as one of the many basic values we cherish in the earlier part of our lives.

However, as one traverses through one’s life, these values transform, as the context of one’s worldview transforms as one’s expands it.

Initially, as a Socialized Mind, belonging is about fitting in and surviving within society as a whole. Within the role-playing game called Life, this is embodied as The Walled City. So similar to a starting city like Stormwind in World of Warcraft.

This city embodied as society offers safety through inclusion but this inclusion is often determined by others assuming you will follow the expectations of society. If you don’t follow these societal expectations though then often you will be cast out and become an “outcast.”

In this way, earlier stages often use belonging as a weapon of coercion. Don’t follow societal expectations and you will be cast out, like Adam and Eve from the Garden of Eden. So not following society’s expectations is effectively seen as a sin.

However, as one develops, one actually becomes tired of following societal expectations because one eventually realizes they are not truths but just societal constructs that have been made up. And often, these constructs no longer feel like they’re working for the individual, for one reason or another, often due to life challenges that reveal the fallacy of them.

Thus the individual actually decides to consciously and intentionally walk out of The Walled City of society because they are seeking a better way of living. So they feel like they need something more, thus they seek greater values with which to live by. This Self-Authoring Mind is embodied as stepping into The Borderlands within the role-playing game called Life.

In the process though, belonging is transformed as well. No longer does one have to follow the expectations of society, one can choose one’s own community based upon one’s own internal value system rather than the external value system of society alone.

This obviously provides much more autonomy for the individual but there can still be conflicts if their authored sense of self doesn’t fully align with others in these differing communities.

An example of this was my joy at finding communities on Google Plus years back, whereby the people within them felt like disrupters of society, outcasts who were pioneering a new way of being beyond society’s limited expectations. However, what quickly became apparent to me is that I was disrupting the disruptors within these communities, thus I was feeling like an outcast among the outcasts.

This is where the next leap for the individual takes one to embracing a Self-Transforming Mind which again transforms the meaning of belonging for them. And this is the very leap that I’m stuck within like a maze because the complexity of it is difficult to face and overcome, due to the fear related to it.

The reason for this is because I still feel like I need the validation and approval of others to continue on my journey and to fully express myself.

Yet the irony of this would be similar to a person wanting to step outside of society’s expectations to attain a Self-Authoring Mind and thus asking for society’s approval and validation to do so from Socialized Minds.

It’s just not going to happen.

That’s because each mindset has its own limitations and can’t see beyond them because stepping beyond them seems absurd to their current beliefs, as it would be like stepping off the edge of the world. They would think you’re crazy to try to do so, as “there by dragons there” that will slay you. Not literally of course. I’m talking about our fears.

And this is why fears as monsters within the role-playing game called Life are not so much there to stop you, as they are there as signposts to tell you that you are reaching the limits of your worldview and beliefs.

So you better damn well be sure you want to step further beyond them, similar to what Atreyu did stepping beyond the Sphinx guardian sentinels within the movie The Neverending Story.

And more often than not, the courage to step forward is often created by the courage to let go of the old world behind oneself. In effect, you won’t be able to fully step forward until you are completely ready to let go of the old worldview and mindset you’ve been living within because it’s no longer empowering for you but rather is draining and soul sucking instead.

In other words, the patterns of your old mindsets are no longer empowering because you see them for what they are, thus they feel lifeless and evidently repetitive in nature, like having to follow a script that you’ve been roleplaying for so long that the role feels hollow and empty.

This is what it feels like when the role-playing game called Life begins to feel like a grind.

In effect, you’ve stayed in the same zone and territory for so long, doing the same quests and slaying the same monsters you’re no longer afraid of, that you’re barely getting any experience points at all because there’s nothing left to learn from the experiences there.

So life is actually giving you a “call to adventure” by telling you that there are greater adventures ahead of you but only if you’re willing to play a larger game beyond the one you’re playing now.

And this is why starting a new level isn’t epic and climatic, as most people would assume, but instead it feels like you’re stuck.

It’s because you’re having to start all over and figure out the new game at this new level with an open and curious beginner’s mind.

So what is this new game at my level? And how does it transform ones sense of belonging?

The paradox that one has to step into at this level has nothing to do with participating with a certain group of people, be it with society or those who have stepped beyond it.

It has to do with participating with life as a whole.

In effect, it’s the realization that life has a greater role for you to play.

So as the saying goes, it’s realizing that life isn’t happening to you, it’s happening through you, regardless of how mysterious and uncomprehending it may be in the moment.

Yet to fully participate in life at this larger role requires the individual to fully participate with oneself as a whole.

This is what Maya Angelou and Brené Brown describe as true belonging.

So it’s completely letting go of needing validation and acceptance of others to continue your journey and instead validating and accepting yourself, fully and completely, as you are right now.

Again not some vision of who you want to become but who you are already being right now.

Yet a being that doesn’t need validation and acceptance from others to step forward, nor to even exist.

Again this has been my greatest challenge.

But again, the more I go through the repetition of this experience, that being needing the validation and acceptance of others, the more it feels like a grind that is becoming exhausting to me. Thus the greater the need to let it go.

Actually now that I’ve turned 60, another reason for letting go of it and fully embracing myself has arisen in relation to this.

I don’t want anyone else defining who I am upon my death because most people often misinterpret and misunderstand a person’s life from the outside. Or perhaps more appropriately, they want to define the person by how they perceived them or wished they were, rather than how they truly were.

For example, I’ve had some family members say that they are glad I’m not gaming anymore, yet most of my growth and development has occurred because of gaming. Not just the growth and development that allowed me to have leadership capabilities in the work world but also the ability to understand life ontologically by using roleplaying game metaphors to do so.

So if they can’t accept my gaming background (just as many professional change agents could’t seem to accept it when I was on Google Plus) then they can’t accept me as I am because my gaming background made me who I am today and is a part of my story.

Again, this is about me reaching a point where I take a stand and plant a flag in the ground, accepting myself fully as I am and owning my own story.

And what this allows me to do is to be at home wherever I am.

Because I am no longer using external waypoints to define where my home is. I’m using internal waypoints instead.

All said and done, this is the leap I have to take. And it becomes more and more clearer each day.

The question is what action will I take to undertake this leap?

What action will clearly show that I’m taking a stand and planting a flag in the ground within a new territory, declaring and accepting myself as being nobody-but-myself?

And above all else this is what a Self-Transforming Mind embodies within the roleplaying game called Life.

It is the ability to not just live within The Great Wilderness.

It is about becoming The Great Wilderness.

In connecting and participating with life fully, one no longer fits within any one group, yet at the same time one feels connected to many.

This is the difference between one feeling despair from loneliness versus the empowering presence of solitude.

In effect, one may be surrounded by people, yet feel completely alone because they’re aren’t fully seen and understood.

Yet one can also be completely alone, yet feel completely connected to everything and everyone in life because they are fully accepting and validating themselves.

The first sign that you’re beginning a creative “leveling up” process in life is often not what people expect. It’s not an epic moment of clarity but a confusing, slowly emerging sense of stuckness, of having stepped off the edge of your world and no longer knowing which end is up.

Grasping the idea that life is a role-playing game is not something trivial.

It requires a deep, meaningful understanding of the future of work, creativity, and vertical development, as well as how Joseph Campbell’s Hero’s Journey serves as a foundational primer that unlocks and integrates these domains.

Once one sees how these elements function as scaffolded dimensions of a larger framework, the concept of life as a role-playing game may appear trivial upon reflection. That said though, explaining the scaffolding layer by layer is anything but trivial because it requires grounded experience in these domains to truly understand it as a whole.

Growth and development is like exploring newer terrains of possibilities within your inner world. So as you expand your inner view of the world, the possibilities of your outer world expand in turn. In this way, growth and development is like gaining a new vantage point of life, broadening your context and understanding of it.

The meaning of life isn’t something you discover once and keep forever.

It’s something you lose and find again. 

Each stage of life requires you to find new meaning. 

What mattered at twenty won’t carry you through to forty.

This isn’t failure. It’s how a life stays alive.

Sterling

A beautiful way to describe the essence of vertical development as a process of continual meaning-making throughout one’s life.

When you feel stuck, that’s not life punishing you. That’s life inviting you to a whole new stage and a whole new deeper level of meaning.

The only question is will you accept the call to adventure and begin your quest.