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Vertical Development

Giving My Own Cognitive Dissonance Time & Space to Resolve on Its Own

What does my recent realization about cognitive dissonance and critical thinking, in terms of how people often can’t deal with the tension of it and need to resolve the uncertainty and ambiguity of it, relate to my beliefs and assumptions about how I feel inadequate and stuck due to not making headway with my own life’s work?

What if I let go of trying to immediately resolve this uncertainty and ambiguity of why I’m feeling stuck, by not immediately assuming I’m useless and without value, which is just my ego toxically bossing me around.

In doing so, I can possibly create the space of something else to emerge. Perhaps something that can help me to understand what I’m going through in an entirely new way.

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Vertical Development

Cognitive Dissonance: At Micro & Macro Scales

This conversation below with Claude.ai arose out of a conversation I had with my wife about something seemingly simple, that being where a new F1 racing driver would be driving in 2025. In my discussion with my wife, I was just trying to relay some new verified news I had heard about a new driver and she immediately didn’t believe it, relaying what she had heard and believed instead. Finally after I did some further digging, I clarified the situation and the status of the new driver which she seemed to accept.

What I realized afterwards was that we were both encountering cognitive dissonance but we were each dealing with it in different ways. When she heard the news I relayed, she immediately disbelieved it, even though it was verified news. When she told me what she knew and believed, however, I didn’t choose one or the other, even though the different information seemingly conflicted with one another. Instead I just held onto the ambiguity and uncertainty for a few minutes and just went exploring for more information.

This in a nutshell is how cognitive dissonance works on a micro scale but also on a macro scale as well. But on the macro scale this ability to hold onto ambiguity and uncertainty for much longer periods of time is critical in trying to resolve the cognitive dissonance one is experiencing. One may have to do this for days, weeks, months, or even years.

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Vertical Development

Why Share the Struggles of the Maze?

Just share what you’re learning as you’re learning it.

This is the current adage.

Yet what is the point of sharing what I’m learning here, if it feels like and probably looks like a constant maze to others, especially as one traverses towards the higher levels of consciousness?

Update: This explains why.

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Vertical Development

My Life Is a Stress Dream

The other day I woke up from a stress dream, one filled with anxiety at trying to get someplace by a certain time. I’ve had these before, at least one additional one in the last few months or so, and this one was so bad, I woke up, chuckled to myself, and said, “Geez, these dreams are killing me.”

The dream itself was trying to get to a hotel room a few blocks away by a certain time, so I could meetup with my family and we could all go to the airport and leave on a flight together.

Getting to the hotel by running a few blocks was fairly easy but when I got into the lobby, the hotel was having some charity event and it was full of people. I somehow forget my room number, so I had to line up and ask the hotel clerk what room I was staying in. He reminded me that my room number was on my room key and I laughed at myself for my forgetfulness and ran for the elevator.

When the elevator appeared, it was three quarters full with one lady bringing up a bunch of items for the charity event. Squeezing on to the elevator, I was followed by another lady with buggy, who proceeded to try to get on by ramming her buggy into my knees. I kept yelling at her to stop but she kept doing so and finally squeezed on.

Finally the elevator went up and proceeded to open at the floor above my floor because I had forgotten to push my floor number. Running out of the elevator, I turned to the stairwell doorway, only to find an under construction sign and the stairway being completely rebuilt. However, in squeezing through the wood, I was able to get on a makeshift stairwell and walked precariously down to my floor.

Doing so, I was greet by another under construction sign and a wooden wall barricading access to my floor. By this time, I’ve completely had it and completely freaked out in my dream shouting, “Are you fricken kidding me!!!” At which point, I woke up.

When reflecting upon this later in the morning and thinking about how Zen Buddhism sees life as an illusionary dream, I realized that just like how in my dreams, obstacles were popping up in front of me, blocking my way, so too it seemed that obstacles were popping up in front of me in my life and blocking me.

At the same time, I wondering if it’s because I feel like time is running out in my life and I have to rush to finish my life’s work. Yet in trying to rush and finish it, effectively running around in circles in my head, it feels like I am effectively getting nowhere fast.

All said and done, what I’m trying to say here is that, just like within my stress dream, I’m apparently The One creating the obstacles before me in my own life.

In effect, I’m running around in my head so fast, that I’m not aware of my own cognitive surroundings of knowledge already within my own head.

Again this feeling like, “The answer is out there.” But in reality, it’s not. It’s already within you. You just have to slow down and still yourself enough to become aware of it and see it.

Categories
Vertical Development

Do I Have an Ego Who Toxically Bosses Me Around?

When I was reflecting upon the quotes from the last article I read on toxic bosses, something struck me as rather odd.

They sounded how I felt with regards to my own life’s work.

Our ongoing research indicates that employees under toxic bosses experience decreased confidence, self-esteem, motivation and engagement. They feel stuck, helpless, detached, disengaged, lose passion and commitment to their work..

Does this mean I have an ego which is toxically bossing me around?

This would fit in perfectly as to why I would feel stuck, as my ego would be standing in my way.

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Vertical Development

Paradoxical Twists

The problems aren’t out there. They’re within me. They’re my perception.

There aren’t any problems to be avoided but rather lessons to be learnt. Life is trying to teach me something, so that I can level up, learn, and grow. (This is the paradox of the Hero’s Journey.)

Stop saying, “Why am I stuck here?” Start saying, “I’m exactly where I need to be. What am I supposed to be learning here?”

I am the one guiding and leading my “self” on these quests because I am the one questioning my assumptions and beliefs.

As long as I am questioning my world(view), I am on the right quest. 

Categories
Vertical Development

Stepping Outside the Maze

I’m going in circles, like I’m inside a maze, because I’m unable to step back from it and be aware of the paradoxical twist and turns within it.

Categories
Vertical Development

It’s All Perspective

When I look forward, I feel like I’ve achieved nothing.

When I look backwards, I feel like I’ve come so far.

Categories
Vertical Development

Cognitive Dissonance: The Call to Adventure

After my previous conversation with Claude discussing cognitive dissonance, I had some additional conversations with ChatGPT to try to clarify what cognitive dissonance is. What I realized from this additional conversation is that it defines the initial “life challenge” that one faces but not the resolution of it.

So think of cognitive dissonance as more of the initial Call to Adventure within the Hero’s Journey. A call of course that is not always heeded, as it can be ignored and not resolved (thus causing undue side effects).

The resolution of cognitive dissonance is something entirely different though. Think of the resolution as a psychological transformation or post-traumatic growth which embodies creativity applied to one’s sense of “self”.

Categories
Vertical Development

Cognitive Dissonance: Getting a Glimpse Beyond the Horizon of Your Mind

The following is a conversation with Claude.ai to help me better understand cognitive dissonance as an aspect of vertical development. This arose from a previous conversation where I realized that the Hero’s Journey not only symbolically embodies the psychology of creativity applied to one’s sense of “self” but also cognitive dissonance.

Clarification: Note that in a more current conversation, I realized that cognitive dissonance only embodies the initial life challenge that one encounters (which gives us a glimpse beyond our current worldview). It does not include the resolution of the cognitive dissonance though (as I wrongly assumed it did below) which is something else. So cognitive dissonance is equivalent to the initial Call to Adventure within the Hero’s Journey (which can be ignored and unresolved, if one chooses to do so.)