Identity is much less likely to be the result of a single breakthrough “aha!” moment and more of a continuous cycle of exploration, commitment, and reevaluation. Even the foundational work on identity formation by Erik Erikson suggested that the final product is never fully realized. Subsequent research shows that who you become is an open-ended, multidimensional process that is actively shaped through personal, social, and environmental contexts. And psychological flexibility has been linked to mental health, well-being, and school engagement.
The key question to ask is not whether these different selves are the same, but whether they are integrated. Psychological flexibility makes integration possible by anchoring these distinct context-dependent “selves” to an evolving set of values and goals. A fixed “take it or leave it” identity may seem authentic, but it can also narrow down the necessary exploration needed to create a well-developed identity.
That shift matters in the pursuit of identity. When we tell young people that there is a single “true self” and that it is their job to find it, uncertainty and confusion can feel like failure. When we realize that identity is something we can create and refine over time, exploration becomes healthy and necessary.