I’m becoming aware of something.
These moments of feeling inadequate in life are often natural steps within a larger process towards feeling empowered.
I was trying to think of a way that I could describe this and I think this scene from Man of Steel metaphorically articulates it quite well.
In this scene, we see Superman testing out his new powers that he has just gained. And interestingly, the suit he dons embodies the new larger role that he is playing but one that he may not feel confident in playing at first (i.e. imposter complex).
Initially we see him take a multitude of massively large bounding steps and then leap into the sky to attempt to fly.
With a little bit of wavering, he does seem to be able to fly and laughs ecstatically (2:00) at the empowering feeling of the experience.
But then no sooner than having a feeling of elation, he falters (2:05), loses control, and then crashes back down to earth in an epic fail fashion (2:15).
This perfectly embodies what I’ve been going through within my life, especially over the last decade.
It’s like I get these peak feelings of epic elation, where I discover something new and I feel like I’ve figured everything out. Only to coming crashing back down to earth and even plow deep into the ground feeling just as depressed as I was high from the previous elation because I realize I haven’t figure everything out.
So imagine Superman repeatedly attempting to do this many times, with each attempt being slightly better and slightly less worse than the last time.
But then there is this moment, where everything shifts.
It’s a moment where you don’t leap into action but just sit there, reflecting back (2:35) upon all previous attempts and you suddenly realize and become aware of something that you weren’t aware of before (2:45). Not something out there but something within you. An invisible sun at your core, that can empower you in ways you never dreamed possible before.
So it’s a moment that’s less about doing something, as it is about being something (3:00). It’s a moment of just sinking in and immersing within your presence, your true sense of self and being, that’s been with you all along but you just never realized it until you fully became aware of it by reflecting back upon it.
And then after this buildup of presence, reflecting upon who you fully are, you explode forwards and take flight (3:10), truly soaring and being your true self.
And in doing so, you are able to fly above the terrain you’ve previously been jumping around (3:25) and you fully get it now as a whole because you get yourself as a whole. In effect, you are the terrain you’ve previously been jumping around and trying to map out, so as to make sense of yourself in a larger way.
This lets you fully zoom out and float way above the world(view) of yourself (4:05), giving you a perspective of your larger sense of Self that you’ve never had before. You see a whole new world(view) of yourself.
So you don’t just see the potential of yourself anymore, as a whole new world of possibilities.
You actually become that potential.