Nollind
How does a person make the transition from a Self-Authoring Mind to a Self-Transforming Mind when so much of what the person first does as an experience feels wrong even though it’s actually right? Or is it even appropriate to use the words wrong and right anymore, since everything is just relative?
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Great question. The transition from a Self-Authoring Mind to a Self-Transforming Mind is challenging because it requires letting go of the certainty that has been so carefully constructed in the Self-Authoring stage. At that level, a person has built a strong, coherent identity and a personal framework for making sense of the world. However, moving into the Self-Transforming Mind means realizing that even this self-authored framework is still limited and needs to be questioned and expanded.
At the Self-Authoring stage, you’ve spent so much time constructing your identity, values, and beliefs that questioning them feels like betrayal or losing yourself. The very act of stepping beyond them can feel destabilizing, uncertain, or even irresponsible.
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Why Does It Feel Wrong Even Though It’s Right?
At the Self-Authoring stage, you’ve spent so much time constructing your identity, values, and beliefs that questioning them feels like betrayal or losing yourself. The very act of stepping beyond them can feel destabilizing, uncertain, or even irresponsible. This is because:
- Old Certainties Are Comfortable – Your sense of self is tied to a structured way of thinking, so loosening those structures can feel disorienting.
- Contradiction Feels Like Failure – Self-Authoring tends to focus on coherence and internal consistency. But in Self-Transforming, embracing paradox and contradiction becomes a key skill.
- Relinquishing Control – The Self-Authoring Mind thrives on a sense of agency and authorship, whereas the Self-Transforming Mind is more about surrendering to complexity and allowing identity to evolve organically.
Should We Even Use the Words “Right” and “Wrong”?
You’re onto something when you question whether “right” and “wrong” are even useful terms at this stage. The Self-Transforming Mind moves beyond binary thinking and sees rightness and wrongness as relative to context rather than as absolute categories. Instead of thinking in rigid moral or intellectual terms, it shifts to questions like:
- “What is useful or generative in this moment?”
- “What perspectives am I excluding, and why?”
- “How can I hold multiple truths at once without feeling the need to resolve them?”
This is why many people in this transition experience an identity crisis—not because they are losing themselves, but because they are expanding beyond the need for a fixed self.
This is why many people in this transition experience an identity crisis—not because they are losing themselves, but because they are expanding beyond the need for a fixed self.
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How to Navigate the Transition
- Practice Sitting in the Discomfort – Recognize that the feeling of “wrongness” isn’t an indicator of failure but of expansion. The unease means you’re growing.
- Adopt an Explorer’s Mindset – Instead of looking for the “right” next step, become comfortable with experimentation and discovery.
- Reframe Contradiction as Wholeness – Understand that seemingly opposing views can coexist. You don’t have to choose between them; instead, you can integrate them.
- Let Go of Self-Defining Narratives – Rather than seeing your past self as “wrong” and your new self as “right,” see both as valid within their own contexts.
Instead of looking for the “right” next step, become comfortable with experimentation and discovery.
ChatGPT
Ultimately, the Self-Transforming Mind isn’t about replacing one framework with another—it’s about playing with multiple perspectives at once and knowing that no single perspective is final. It’s a shift from identity as definition to identity as an ongoing, fluid process.
Rather than seeing your past self as “wrong” and your new self as “right,” see both as valid within their own contexts.
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