I mentioned before that I had imported my older archives recently, going all the way back to 2005, and there were a lot of importing issues within them that I realized I had to correct. Today I spent part of the day doing that, cleaning up older posts, but I have a lot to do still.
What was amazing about scrolling through and reading my older posts though was that it helped me to reflect on who I am and what I’ve doing in a larger sense.
It was a weird feeling doing so. It was almost like stepping back outside of yourself to actually see your Self. There was this sense of clarity that I haven’t experienced for some time.
More than anything though, what it made me realize was that my issue isn’t articulating myself. It’s accepting myself.
I remember something Dave Gray said in his book Liminal Thinking about the need to suspend disbelief when trying to learn something new. I think this principle applies as well when trying to be something new, a larger sense of Self.
In effect, I think for the longest time, perhaps even a decade or maybe even more, I’ve been disbelieving who I am and where I’ve been going, even though I have a journal of my journey on this site as a record of my travels, experiences, and knowledge that I’ve acquired.
Reflecting back on my journey through my journal here today changed all that though. It helped me to believe and accept who I am…even if for a brief moment.
Perhaps I need to do this reflection more so, just to consistently provide a solid footing in remembering who I am and how far I have come on my journey.
Interesting, that almost sounds like having a sense of gratitude for everything I’ve experienced so far which has got me here.