I’m suspicious of the metaphysics implicit in the notion of “becoming who you are.” It smacks of essentialism, as if we have a nature or destiny that is fixed. Yet, it is a nearly inescapable perception. There are changes that we can only describe by talk of someone becoming who she is. And even if the metaphysics is off, the process is joyous to behold.
I agree. Believing that your life or destiny is fixed is kind of a bummer, especially for someone like myself who is an explorer and loves discovering the uncharted and unknown. Therefore instead of thinking that we are predefined ahead of time, I instead like to think of ourselves as a chord on a musical instrument which basically defines who we are at our core but with which we can do anything we want with it. Our lives can be a happy pop song, a lively rock song, a brooding heavy metal ballad, or whatever we choose. But at our core, we resonate with this similar chord.
Even more so, this resonation within us is what attracts others to us and us to them. In a sense, our relationships are like instruments in a symphony or band coming together in harmony to make something greater than their individual parts. Therefore, while our inner core may resonate with a unique tone, what we do with it in our lives is up to us.
Just remember to play though, as there is nothing worse than an instrument that is never taken out of its case. To play is to live, no matter if it’s a happy melody or sad one. Just feel the music of your life and express it in your own way.