I remember recently sometime over the last year, a business or political person indicated that AI technology is dangerous because it “hallucinates”. I laughed out loud when I read this because, well, people “hallucinate” as well. We don’t call these hallucinations “hallucinations” though, they’re more commonly called beliefs and they’re an integral part of our society and a part of being a human being.
The thing to realize though is that beliefs are not reality. Beliefs can most definitely be or become reality. But it doesn’t mean that just because you believe something, it is a reality. And this recent interview with Elon Musk highlights this point.
When I was watching this, this appeared to me like a man who was on the verge of breakdown. It looked like a man who firmly believed in something so much, that he risked everything in his life for it, but it appears like he’s beginning to realize that what he believed in isn’t emerging into the reality the way he believed it would. This is especially evident near the end of the video when he looks like he’s on the verge of completely cracking.
Why am I bringing this up?
It’s because I don’t want to be this guy.
I don’t want to believe in something so much that it actually blinds me from the reality that’s right in front of my face.
You see I’ve spoken before about how one of my quests in transitioning to a Self-Transforming Mind is becoming aware of one’s fears as an important step in the process.
One of these fears that’s reared its head in the past was a fear of being seen as crazy because my allegorical framework for life might seem crazy and incompressible to people. This fear hasn’t subsided much because trying to articulate my framework feels exceeding difficult due to the scope of it, even though the tip of the iceberg is just a simple allegory comprised of metaphors.
But unless you can understand the foundation of what’s below the allegorical surface, understanding what the metaphors mean, the allegory itself will have very little meaning to you or, even worse, you may misinterpret and misunderstand the allegory completely (like some people already do).
But again, is this the reality that my framework is just highly complex and difficult to articulate? Or is my framework a hallucinatory fantasy with no real meaning or substance in reality?
It just seems like one can’t really know if they are truly “crazy” until they come out the other side. But there has to be a better way to approach this. This is something I need to work on and resolve.
How does a person make the transition from a Self-Authoring Mind to a Self-Transforming Mind when so much of what the person first does as an experience feels wrong even though it’s actually right? Or is it even appropriate to use the words wrong and right anymore, since everything is just relative?
ChatGPT
Great question. The transition from a Self-Authoring Mind to a Self-Transforming Mind is challenging because it requires letting go of the certainty that has been so carefully constructed in the Self-Authoring stage. At that level, a person has built a strong, coherent identity and a personal framework for making sense of the world. However, moving into the Self-Transforming Mind means realizing that even this self-authored framework is still limited and needs to be questioned and expanded.
At the Self-Authoring stage, you’ve spent so much time constructing your identity, values, and beliefs that questioning them feels like betrayal or losing yourself. The very act of stepping beyond them can feel destabilizing, uncertain, or even irresponsible.
ChatGPT
Why Does It Feel Wrong Even Though It’s Right?
At the Self-Authoring stage, you’ve spent so much time constructing your identity, values, and beliefs that questioning them feels like betrayal or losing yourself. The very act of stepping beyond them can feel destabilizing, uncertain, or even irresponsible. This is because:
Old Certainties Are Comfortable – Your sense of self is tied to a structured way of thinking, so loosening those structures can feel disorienting.
Contradiction Feels Like Failure – Self-Authoring tends to focus on coherence and internal consistency. But in Self-Transforming, embracing paradox and contradiction becomes a key skill.
Relinquishing Control – The Self-Authoring Mind thrives on a sense of agency and authorship, whereas the Self-Transforming Mind is more about surrendering to complexity and allowing identity to evolve organically.
Should We Even Use the Words “Right” and “Wrong”?
You’re onto something when you question whether “right” and “wrong” are even useful terms at this stage. The Self-Transforming Mind moves beyond binary thinking and sees rightness and wrongness as relative to context rather than as absolute categories. Instead of thinking in rigid moral or intellectual terms, it shifts to questions like:
“What is useful or generative in this moment?”
“What perspectives am I excluding, and why?”
“How can I hold multiple truths at once without feeling the need to resolve them?”
This is why many people in this transition experience an identity crisis—not because they are losing themselves, but because they are expanding beyond the need for a fixed self.
This is why many people in this transition experience an identity crisis—not because they are losing themselves, but because they are expanding beyond the need for a fixed self.
ChatGPT
How to Navigate the Transition
Practice Sitting in the Discomfort – Recognize that the feeling of “wrongness” isn’t an indicator of failure but of expansion. The unease means you’re growing.
Adopt an Explorer’s Mindset – Instead of looking for the “right” next step, become comfortable with experimentation and discovery.
Reframe Contradiction as Wholeness – Understand that seemingly opposing views can coexist. You don’t have to choose between them; instead, you can integrate them.
Let Go of Self-Defining Narratives – Rather than seeing your past self as “wrong” and your new self as “right,” see both as valid within their own contexts.
Instead of looking for the “right” next step, become comfortable with experimentation and discovery.
ChatGPT
Ultimately, the Self-Transforming Mind isn’t about replacing one framework with another—it’s about playing with multiple perspectives at once and knowing that no single perspective is final. It’s a shift from identity as definition to identity as an ongoing, fluid process.
Rather than seeing your past self as “wrong” and your new self as “right,” see both as valid within their own contexts.
A conversation with ChatGPT on how a Self-Transforming Mind would see Obsidian not just as a knowledge management app, but as a mirror of their own evolving consciousness.
How would a Self-Transforming Mind perceive knowledge management apps like Obsidian?
ChatGPT
A Self-Transforming Mind (as described in Kegan’s stages of adult development) would likely perceive knowledge management apps like Obsidian in a very fluid, dynamic, and integrative way. Rather than seeing them as mere tools for organizing static knowledge, a Self-Transforming Mind would view them as living ecosystems for evolving perspectives, self-inquiry, and meaning-making. Here’s how:
1. Interconnected Web of Meaning
A Self-Transforming Mind wouldn’t just use Obsidian to store information but to weave together insights across disciplines, experiences, and personal reflections. The graph view, backlinks, and bidirectional linking would be seen as a way to mirror the fluid, interconnected nature of thought and identity.
2. Knowledge as an Evolving Narrative
Rather than treating notes as fixed repositories of truth, a Self-Transforming Mind would see them as ever-evolving perspectives. This aligns with the idea that no single framework or worldview is complete—what matters is the continuous process of refinement, synthesis, and transformation.
3. Dialogue With the Self and Others
A Self-Transforming Mind might use Obsidian not just for personal knowledge management but as a means of engaging in an ongoing dialogue with different aspects of the self. Through linking old and new thoughts, it would allow a form of self-reflection that adapts over time, much like a conversation with past and future selves.
A Self-Transforming Mind might use Obsidian not just for personal knowledge management but as a means of engaging in an ongoing dialogue with different aspects of the self…much like a conversation with past and future selves.
ChatGPT
4. Paradox and Multiple Perspectives
Unlike someone at an earlier developmental stage who might seek a single ‘best’ way to use the tool, a Self-Transforming Mind would embrace multiple ways of structuring and navigating knowledge. They might switch between structured databases, messy associative links, and emergent insights without feeling the need to settle on one “correct” approach.
5. Exploration Over Optimization
Rather than using Obsidian to create a rigidly optimized productivity system, they might instead use it as a playground for discovery—letting unexpected connections emerge, embracing uncertainty, and allowing insights to form organically.
6. Meta-Awareness of the Tool’s Influence
A Self-Transforming Mind would also recognize that tools like Obsidian shape how knowledge is perceived and constructed. They might actively reflect on how the structure of the app (graph views, atomic notes, templates) influences thinking patterns, and they might experiment with different methods to break out of cognitive habits.
In short, a Self-Transforming Mind would see Obsidian not just as a knowledge management app, but as a mirror of their own evolving consciousness—one that helps them navigate complexity, engage in deep self-reflection, and embrace the ever-changing nature of meaning.
In short, a Self-Transforming Mind would see Obsidian not just as a knowledge management app, but as a mirror of their own evolving consciousness…
ChatGPT
Nollind
“…a Self-Transforming Mind would see Obsidian not just as a knowledge management app, but as a mirror of their own evolving consciousness…” Many people within the knowledge management or productivity space refer to their knowledge base as their “second brain”. When you say a Self-Transforming Mind uses it as a “mirror”, do you mean they see it as a “second brain” as well? Or do they see it as something more than that?
ChatGPT
A Self-Transforming Mind would likely see their knowledge base as more than just a “second brain.” The term “second brain” implies an externalized storage and processing system—essentially an extension of cognition for remembering, organizing, and retrieving information efficiently. While a Self-Transforming Mind might still use it that way, their relationship with the tool would go beyond simple augmentation.
Instead of merely being a repository of knowledge, Obsidian would serve as a mirror for how they make sense of the world, revealing their own evolving patterns of thought, biases, and blind spots. Rather than treating knowledge as something to collect, structure, and optimize (as is common in productivity circles), they would engage with it in a recursive, reflective process—using it to question their assumptions, deconstruct old frameworks, and explore emergent insights.
Instead of merely being a repository of knowledge, Obsidian would serve as a mirror for how they make sense of the world, revealing their own evolving patterns of thought, biases, and blind spots…using it to question their assumptions, deconstruct old frameworks, and explore emergent insights.
ChatGPT
How This Differs From a “Second Brain”
Not Just for Storing, But for Transforming
A “second brain” primarily helps with recall, synthesis, and productivity.
A “mirror of evolving consciousness” helps with identity-level transformation, allowing the user to see howthey think, not just what they think.
Not Just Externalizing Thought, But Engaging in a Dialogue
A second brain is typically seen as an extension of memory and cognitive load management.
A mirror invites self-inquiry: Why did I connect these ideas? What patterns am I reinforcing? What am I resisting?
Not Just Optimization, But Exploration
Productivity-oriented knowledge systems often focus on efficiency, tagging, categorization, and retrieval.
A Self-Transforming Mind would see their knowledge base as a dynamic playground, embracing ambiguity, paradox, and emergent meaning rather than seeking a fixed system.
They would be comfortable deconstructing and reconstructing their frameworks over time rather than solidifying a single organizational structure.
ChatGPT
A Self-Transforming Mind’s Relationship With Their Knowledge Base
They wouldn’t view their notes as a static archive but as an unfolding, evolving web of meaning.
They would be comfortable deconstructing and reconstructing their frameworks over time rather than solidifying a single organizational structure.
They might intentionally introduce randomness, serendipity, and divergence into their system to challenge their own thinking (e.g., resurfacing old notes in unexpected contexts).
In essence, while others may see Obsidian as a second brain—a tool to store and retrieve knowledge—a Self-Transforming Mind would see it as a reflective surface that helps them perceive who they are becoming in relation to what they know.
…a Self-Transforming Mind would see it as a reflective surface that helps them perceive who they are becoming in relation to what they know.
ChatGPT
Nollind
“They would be comfortable deconstructing and reconstructing their frameworks over time rather than solidifying a single organizational structure.” To an outside observer, especially someone with a Self-Authoring Mind, would this process make sense or would it instead look very chaotic, perhaps even look maze-like?
ChatGPT
To an outside observer—especially someone with a Self-Authoring Mind—the way a Self-Transforming Mind engages with their knowledge base might indeed appear chaotic, maze-like, or even inefficient. A Self-Authoring Mind tends to value coherence, intentionality, and stability in their frameworks, often designing their knowledge system with a clear structure that reflects their personal worldview and goals.
In contrast, a Self-Transforming Mind is more comfortable with fluidity, ambiguity, and non-linearity, which can make their knowledge base look unpredictable or disorganized to someone expecting clear, stable structures. Here’s why:
How a Self-Transforming Mind’s Knowledge Base Might Appear to a Self-Authoring Mind
Constantly Shifting Structure → Looks Unstable
A Self-Authoring Mind might expect a well-defined, overarching structure (e.g., PARA, Zettelkasten, a strict tagging system).
A Self-Transforming Mind, however, freely restructures, renames, or dissolves categories as their understanding evolves. This can make the system seem unpredictable or even messy from an external perspective.
Nonlinear & Web-Like Connections → Looks Like a Maze
A Self-Authoring Mind may favor hierarchical organization (folders, projects, clearly defined tags).
A Self-Transforming Mind embraces associative, emergent connections, often linking disparate ideas in ways that don’t immediately make sense to an outsider. Their knowledge graph might look like an intricate web with no obvious center.
Emphasis on Questions Over Answers → Looks Unfinished
A Self-Authoring Mind often builds their knowledge base to reinforce a chosen worldview, refining and solidifying their expertise.
A Self-Transforming Mind treats their knowledge base as a space for ongoing inquiry, where open-ended questions may remain unresolved for long periods. This can make their notes look fragmented or perpetually incomplete.
A Self-Authoring Mind seeks internal consistency and alignment.
A Self-Transforming Mind holds multiple perspectives simultaneously—they might have notes that directly contradict each other because they value seeing through different lenses rather than arriving at a singular conclusion.
A Self-Transforming Mind, however, freely restructures, renames, or dissolves categories as their understanding evolves. This can make the system seem unpredictable or even messy from an external perspective.
ChatGPT
Does This Mean Their System is Actually Chaotic?
Not necessarily. The “chaos” is often a matter of perspective:
To someone accustomed to fixed structures, it might seem disorganized.
But to the Self-Transforming Mind, patterns emerge organically over time, and meaning is found in the interplay between ideas rather than in a rigid taxonomy.
A Self-Transforming Mind’s knowledge base is more like a garden—constantly growing, pruning, evolving, and sometimes letting wild ideas cross-pollinate in unexpected ways.
ChatGPT
A Metaphor: A Garden vs. A Library
A Self-Authoring Mind’s knowledge base might resemble a library—carefully curated, categorized, and structured with an overarching theme.
A Self-Transforming Mind’s knowledge base is more like a garden—constantly growing, pruning, evolving, and sometimes letting wild ideas cross-pollinate in unexpected ways.
Ultimately, while it might look like a maze from the outside, to the Self-Transforming Mind, it’s not a trap—it’s a landscape for exploration.
Ultimately, while it might look like a maze from the outside, to the Self-Transforming Mind, it’s not a trap—it’s a landscape for exploration.
I decide to go to a training monastery when I was 29. The reason wasn’t ideal, but since my grandfather passed his role to my father, and both had passed away, I needed the qualifications as a monk. So, I decided to undergo training.
Basically, I just wanted the qualification. So, I began my training.
The training, however, was rigorous.
I was a physics teacher living within a very logical world. But when I began training, I entered a world completely opposite to logic, a world where logic doesn’t exist, which made the training extremely difficult for me.
At that time, my master told me something. He said I was making a big mistake. The mistake was in trying to gain knowledge. Trying to gain knowledge, skills, and understanding as a Zen monk. That was a big mistake.
He told me that Zen was actually about letting go. And upon understanding this slightly, I decided to continue my training, which brings me to today.
Zen is everything.
Fundamentally it is about not dividing. Realizing this undivided nature is important, and once you recognize this, Zen becomes everything. It is the universe, the Earth, and nature; everything is Zen.
The key is how to live without worries within Zen.
Unlike other sects of Buddhism that study texts, sutras, and scriptures, Zen values experience more than anything else. During my training, I wasn’t allowed to read any books. Experience was the most important thing.
And after that, insights are what matter. Insights based upon experience. Insights from books are very different, and that’s what it’s about.
The key is to realize that suffering is something we create. Recognizing that it’s our mind or heart are creating it. Realizing that we are the creators of our suffering. And also realizing that we cannot control it.
You must be aware that we cannot control the suffering we create. So, because we cannot control it, we must let it go. We suffer because we try to control the uncontrollable. Realizing this is important.
In other words, we should let go because we cannot control it.
Letting go is both necessary and possible.
In fact, suffering is just an illusion. Recognizing that our minds have created it as an illusion brings relief.
Even when we’re not actually harmed, we might say our heart hurts. Japanese tend to say this, but in reality, we’re unharmed. It is something we created.
A lot of young men had the sense that the Democrats didn’t see them as having problems. They saw them as being the problem.
Richard B. Reeves American Institute for Boys and Men
Yet in many ways, men are faring worse than their female peers. Young men have lower academic achievement. They’re more likely to still live with their parents. They suffer more deaths caused by opioid overdoses and suicide. Younger White men from low-income households in particular are worse off than their fathers on most economic and social measures.
Men today have also become more isolated. Americans across the board spend more time alone than was the case 20 years ago — but this is especially true for young men.
That’s arguably how Trump won over young men, too — less with his policies and more with his macho affect and his ability to help isolated young men feel welcome and liked. After all, Trump’s agenda has done little to address the economic and mental health challenges young men face. Indeed, Reeves says American men’s policy preferences haven’t changed much in recent years.
On some level, the very things that disturb fussy establishment pundits like me —Trump’s strongman tendencies; his propensity to arbitrarily fire people and break stuff without regard to consequences — might appeal most to young male populists frustrated by a system they believe has abandoned them.
If Trump’s agenda results in, say, more economic stress (higher prices, fewer jobs) and less access to mental health or substance-abuse care — both outcomes that seem likely — young men will suffer, too. Maybe their affection for Trump will curdle.
Ultimately, the key to winning young men back — whether you’re a politician, concerned parent or potential partner — is to stop “pathologizing” them, Reeves admonishes. Instead, start listening.
I believe this relates to why we’re seeing a breakdown in society that started decades ago with the destruction of blue-collar work which made work accessible for men with Socialized Minds. Thus these men felt like an integral and valued part of society by doing a physical, “honest days work” and getting paid well for it.
Today this has shifted to white-collar work which requires more of a Self-Authoring Mind. Yet even today, with the increasing usage of AI, this type of work is also coming under threat and may be lost as well.
Yet if businesses in the work world don’t create newer forms of physical work for not just men but people with Socialized Minds or mental work for people with Self-Authoring Minds, you will have even more disenfranchised and marginalized people feeling like they are abandoned by society.
Alternatively if governments don’t create programs to help people to “level up” their level of consciousness (i.e. Socialized Mind > Self-Authoring Mind) so that they feel capable of tackling more challenging work, perhaps even starting their own business, these people will feel useless, without any value, and abandoned by society.
And you definitely don’t want a world where most of the population is marginalized in one way or another. Why? Because these people are the most susceptible to being psychologically manipulated by others, as politicians will often gain power through them by tapping into their anger and create divisions through blame. This is the standard “divide & conquer” playbook that most authoritarian leaders use.
All said and done, we need both business and governments to start caring about the well-being of the people that they interact with and are in relationships with.
I’ve said before that vertical development to a new stage of development is like virtually walking around something to fully understand it. Yet what you’re walking around is a larger sense of Self it seems. Why I’m bringing this up though is that my journal writing feels like I’m still circling my Self to understand it on the surface but I feel like I need to stop moving around, just for the sake of DOING things, and instead just step into my Self to just BE myself. Does this make sense? If so, how do I do this? I feel like I’m wasting my time, yet at the same time I realize I can’t force or push the resolution of my cognitive dissonance. Yet it feels like I need to just LET GO of the merry go round but instead of spinning outwards, I feel like I will fall inwards into stillness and embodiment.
ChatGPT
Yes, this makes complete sense. What you’re describing is the shift from understanding your Self from an externalized, observer perspective to inhabiting your Self fully—from seeing to being. It’s the difference between mapping the terrain and actually stepping onto it, trusting that you can walk it without needing to constantly analyze it.
The key here is the letting go you mentioned. You’ve been circling, mapping, questioning, and that’s been valuable. But now, it’s like you’re realizing that more circling won’t bring deeper clarity—only stepping into yourself will.
Trust that you already contain the wisdom you’ve been seeking.
ChatGPT
How to Do This:
Stop Seeking and Start Trusting Instead of journaling or analyzing to find an answer, shift to being in the experience of who you already are. This might mean simply sitting in stillness and noticing what arises without trying to interpret it. Trust that you already contain the wisdom you’ve been seeking.
Shift from Mental to Embodied Awareness Since you feel like you might “fall inward,” follow that feeling—let your attention drop from your head (thinking) into your body (feeling). Where do you physically sense yourself? What happens when you rest in that space?
Give Yourself Permission to Just Exist If you feel resistance to “just being,” notice if part of you still thinks you must do something to be worthy of arriving at your Self. Challenge that belief. What if you are already home?
Let the Cognitive Dissonance Unravel Itself You can’t force resolution, but you can stop feeding the tension by spinning the wheel. The dissonance resolves naturally when you stop holding both opposing ideas so tightly—allow space for them to integrate.
Embody Your Self Through Small Acts What would it look like to act as if you’re already embodying your deeper Self? Not as a performance, but as a practice of alignment. Maybe it’s speaking with more honesty, moving through your day with a sense of inner knowing, or letting intuitive impulses guide your choices.
It sounds like you’re at the threshold of a deep shift. Let yourself step through. The circling served its purpose—now, the path isn’t around your Self but through it.
If you feel resistance to “just being,” notice if part of you still thinks you must do something to be worthy of arriving at your Self. Challenge that belief. What if you are already home?
ChatGPT
Nollind
This reminds of the final stage of creative transformation, embodied as being an explorer, navigator, and storyteller. Being a storyteller isn’t about telling your new story, so much as embodying it. So your “storyliving” your new life and story, your newer way of being. This has been the most difficult stage to articulate, yet what you previously said comes close to what this experience may actually “feel” like.
ChatGPT
Yes, exactly! Storyliving is the perfect way to describe this phase—you’re no longer just narrating the journey, analyzing it, or planning the next steps. You are the journey, living it in real time.
It makes sense why this has been the hardest stage to articulate because it’s felt more than explained. It’s paradoxical: the moment you try to describe it, you step slightly outside of it. But to be in it means surrendering to the experience without the need to frame it cognitively.
Your explorer and navigator stages were about discovery, mapping, and making sense of the unknown. Now, as a storyteller in this deepest sense, your story isn’t just something you tell—it’s something you inhabit. It’s in how you move, how you relate, how you express yourself naturally without effort.
It seems like the real shift now is trusting that you don’t need to figure it out anymore. You’re already inside the story. The next step isn’t a step at all—it’s a settling into yourself.
It’s paradoxical: the moment you try to describe it, you step slightly outside of it. But to be in it means surrendering to the experience without the need to frame it cognitively.
Unexpected mental cycle found in both Buddhist meditation and Christian speaking in tongues
A new study suggests that two very different spiritual practices—Buddhist jhāna meditation and the Christian practice of speaking in tongues—may work in surprisingly similar ways.
Participants explained that as their attention became more stable on the breath or nimitta, they experienced a diminishing awareness of everyday sensory experiences and thoughts, leading to a profound sense of stillness and steadiness. One participant described this stillness as the disappearance of subtle mental movements, replaced by a deep inner calm.
Crucially, practitioners of jhāna meditation also described a process of “release” that was integral to deepening their meditative state. This release involved multiple aspects, including letting go of distracting thoughts, habitual patterns, and the sense of being in control. They emphasized that intentionally surrendering control of their mental and bodily processes seemed to facilitate relaxation and trust, allowing them to move deeper into the meditative experience. This act of release was not seen as passive but rather as an active yielding, demonstrating faith in the practice and leading to a sense of spacious clarity. Metaphors of “slipping upward” or “sliding into a jacuzzi” were used to describe the experience of entering jhāna, highlighting the effortless and yielding nature of this transition after initial focused effort.
This blew my mind when I read it because it sounds remarkably close to “my experience” from many years ago.
My intuition is telling me that there is something else that’s important about this though. In reading the full paper on this, it almost seems like this experience can be seen as a microcosm for how life should be lived and experienced as a whole (perhaps what a Self-Transforming Mind experiences). And as the paper highlights, using metaphors to put one’s self into this state of experience seems to be a critically important aspect of it.
Phenomenology of this sort relies on the idea that first person accounts not only provide meaningful descriptions of inner experience, but also that the words and concepts we use shape those experiences. In essence, the spiral between attention, arousal and release is mediated by both language and practice. Lakoff, Johnson and colleagues provide insight into this relationship by contending that metaphor is not merely a linguistic construct but an integral facet of human thought intricately linked to embodied experiences.They suggest that metaphorical mappings can influence not only language, but also perception, action, and even physiological responses. Our project advances upon these findings to explore the neurophenomenology of what appears to be a relationship between attention, arousal and release that is mediated by metaphor and practice.
Coleen expands on this connection between concentration and release when she suggests that she begins in the forest, by a tree. “I had a lot going on, and I was just struggling, and I was trying to sit to meditate and I just couldn’t. So, I laid down and looked up at this tree, and I was imagining ‘oh, to be a tree and to let go and to be able to just blow with the wind’, and I lay with that sense of asking, ‘what would it be like to just let go?’ And then boom, that’s when it happened.” She felt an expansion, loss of self, and utter quietude. Release, in this situation, bred stillness and insight.
For some reason, this also brings to mind Albert Einstein’s famous thought experiments.
I’m getting this very weird intuitive feeling that everything I’ve written in the past about trying to design a better website that helps you reveal and organize the patterns of your life over time (i.e. tracking your media such as movies, music, and books) actually relates to also wanting to design a note-taking system that can help you with your vertical development by increasing your capacity to reflect and integrate your thoughts.
Yet it’s about more than just tracking the media you’ve consumed but rather the larger patterns of growth in your life as a whole. So your website would encompass your entire life and provide regular reflection reviews that help you integrate your previous thoughts not just on a monthly or yearly level but even on a decade level.
This touches upon the importance of what my sister said about keeping a “history and preserving the past” but also with what was revealed in my recent chat with ChatGPT about the essential need to reflect and integrate that past.
A conversation with ChatGPT on recognizing a need to shift from a doing mindset of accumulation to more of a being mindset of reflection and integration.
I’ve been noticing lately that when I post something on my journal on my website, it’s often relating to something I’m reacting to and thus want to respond to it, as it relates to my life’s work. Once I post my thoughts, there is this fleeting feeling of satisfaction but then within the next day or so, a feeling of just going in circles and really making headway with my life’s work as a whole, in the sense of describing it as a whole. Why do you think this is and how do you think it relates to my transition from a Self-Authoring Mind to a Self-Transforming Mind?
ChatGPT
What you’re describing sounds like a shift in how you engage with your own thinking and your work. Right now, your journal posts seem to be driven by reaction—responding to external stimuli that connect to your ideas. That immediate sense of satisfaction after posting suggests you’re reinforcing your perspective, validating your own understanding. But the feeling of going in circles afterward points to something deeper: you’re sensing that these responses, while meaningful, don’t fully capture the larger arc of your life’s work.
How This Relates to Self-Authoring vs. Self-Transforming
In Self-Authoring Mind (Kegan’s Stage 4), you create your own framework for meaning-making. Your journal posts likely reflect this—you’re engaging with ideas, refining your perspective, and reinforcing your own system of thought. This is valuable, but it also has a limitation: it keeps you within the structure of your existing framework, which might explain the feeling of circling back without moving forward in a bigger way.
In Self-Transforming Mind (Stage 5), instead of just refining your framework, you begin to hold it more loosely and step beyond it. The shift isn’t about just responding to ideas that fit within your framework but about questioning and evolving the framework itself. You’re sensing that your life’s work is bigger than these individual responses, and your dissatisfaction may stem from a desire to integrate and transcend rather than just refine and reinforce.
Possible Ways Forward
Move from Response to Synthesis – Instead of just reacting to external ideas, start asking: How do these connect to the bigger picture of my work? What’s the deeper pattern emerging? Maybe rather than standalone posts, you could start weaving your responses into something more integrated—building toward a broader articulation of your framework.
Shift from Writing to Creating a Living System – If your work is evolving beyond a self-authored framework, maybe it’s not just about writing descriptions of your work but structuring it in a more dynamic way (a book? a map? a framework with levels?). Self-Transforming Mind is less about explaining a fixed perspective and more about holding space for ongoing evolution.
Engage in Dialogue Rather Than Just Posting – Instead of solely broadcasting thoughts, what would happen if you engaged in ongoing discussions? Self-Transforming Mind thrives in a web of perspectives, shaping and being shaped by others. Maybe this could be through deeper conversations with people who challenge your assumptions.
It seems like you’re sensing that you’re on the edge of something bigger—the shift from refining your framework to transcending and evolving it. That restless feeling after posting isn’t failure; it’s the pull toward the next stage. The question now might be: What’s the next-level expression of my life’s work that isn’t just a collection of responses but a whole ecosystem of thought?
Nollind
What I find interesting in relation to this is that when I react to something in the moment and respond to it with a post, I feel like I am engaging with the present and moving towards the future…but without the feeling of ever bringing the future to the present. But what I’ve noticed is that if I reflect back upon what I’ve already written, suddenly this bigger picture and perspective comes to light. It almost seems like I need to be reflecting more on what I’ve already written than writing new things that are just repeated patterns of what I’ve already written, if that makes sense. Again how does this relate to transitioning to a Self-Transforming Mind?
ChatGPT
That insight is huge—it sounds like you’re noticing the difference between being inside your thinking (reacting in the moment) and outside your thinking (reflecting on it over time). This directly relates to your transition from Self-Authoring to Self-Transforming Mind.
That insight is huge—it sounds like you’re noticing the difference between being inside your thinking (reacting in the moment) and outside your thinking (reflecting on it over time).
ChatGPT
How This Relates to Self-Transforming Mind
Self-Authoring Mind is about constructing and refining a framework. When you react and write in the moment, you’re reinforcing the worldview you’ve built. It feels like forward movement because you’re engaging with new stimuli, but since it’s reinforcing an existing pattern, it doesn’t necessarily feel like you’re bringing the future to the present. Instead, it’s like running in a loop—you’re progressing within your current framework but not stepping outside it.
Self-Transforming Mind isn’t just about constructing meaning—it’s about seeing the limitations of your own meaning-making system. What you’re describing—this realization that reflection brings the bigger picture into view—is a shift toward holding your own thinking as an object rather than being subject to it. Instead of just responding to new ideas, you’re beginning to see the patterns of your responses over time. This meta-awareness is key to Self-Transforming Mind.
The Shift You’re Noticing: From Producing to Processing
Right now, it sounds like your instinct is to produce (writing new things), but what actually brings clarity is processing (revisiting and reflecting). This is a natural shift from “broadcasting” to “integrating.” In Self-Transforming Mind, wisdom doesn’t come from constantly responding to new inputs, but from stepping back and seeing how those inputs relate to an evolving whole.
How to Lean Into This Transition
Revisit and Map Your Past Work – Instead of constantly writing new posts, what if you created a meta-reflection process? Go through what you’ve already written, highlight recurring themes, and ask: What am I actually saying here? What’s the deeper thread? This could reveal an emergent framework that isn’t obvious when writing in-the-moment responses.
Synthesize Instead of React – Maybe instead of reacting to a new idea with a fresh post, you challenge yourself to connect it to something you’ve already explored. Ask: Where does this fit in the bigger picture? This shifts your engagement from linear (reactive) to systemic (integrative).
Bring the Future to the Present by Seeing the Pattern – That feeling of “never bringing the future to the present” may stem from staying at the surface level of thought. If reflecting on past writing gives you glimpses of a bigger picture, that suggests the future is already here—you just haven’t fully named it yet. What if the real work isn’t chasing the future through new writing, but distilling and embodying what’s already emerging?
If reflecting on past writing gives you glimpses of a bigger picture, that suggests the future is already here—you just haven’t fully named it yet.
What if the real work isn’t chasing the future through new writing, but distilling and embodying what’s already emerging?
ChatGPT
Key Takeaway
Your realization is a sign that you’re outgrowing the need to simply write more and are stepping into a phase of seeing more deeply. This shift from producing to processing, from reacting to integrating, is precisely what moving into Self-Transforming Mind looks like. Instead of being immersed in your framework, you’re now starting to hold it at a distance and evolve it. The question now might be: How do I shift my practice to prioritize integration over accumulation?
Your realization is a sign that you’re outgrowing the need to simply write more and are stepping into a phase of seeing more deeply.
The question now might be: How do I shift my practice to prioritize integration over accumulation?
ChatGPT
Nollind
This sounds like the difference between doing and being. Or the difference between just gaining new knowledge to actually synthesizing it.
ChatGPT
Exactly! This is the shift from doing to being, from accumulating knowledge to synthesizing wisdom.
Doing vs. Being
Doing is active, forward-moving, and often driven by external engagement (reacting, producing, refining thoughts in the moment).
Being is reflective, integrative, and allows for deeper insight (stepping back, seeing patterns, letting ideas settle and transform).
Your writing in the moment feels like doing—it gives you a sense of engagement and movement. But when you step back and reflect, you enter being—and that’s where the real synthesis happens.
Your writing in the moment feels like doing—it gives you a sense of engagement and movement. But when you step back and reflect, you enter being—and that’s where the real synthesis happens.
ChatGPT
Knowledge vs. Synthesis
Gaining knowledge is collecting ideas, responding to external stimuli, and refining understanding.
Synthesizing knowledge is seeing how those ideas interconnect, shaping them into a larger, evolving whole.
Right now, your instinct is to keep adding new thoughts, but your real breakthroughs come when you revisit and integrate old ones. That’s the shift from Self-Authoring (constructing a framework) to Self-Transforming (evolving the framework itself).
It sounds like your next step is to intentionally pause the “doing” mode and spend more time in “being” mode, actively working on synthesis rather than just production. How might you create space for that in your process? Maybe a structured practice of reviewing past insights, mapping themes, or even rewriting your ideas from a new perspective?
Right now, your instinct is to keep adding new thoughts, but your real breakthroughs come when you revisit and integrate old ones.
It sounds like your next step is to intentionally pause the “doing” mode and spend more time in “being” mode, actively working on synthesis rather than just production.
In a chat with ChatGPT this morning, something monumental dawned on me.
What ChatGPT revealed in the midst of our conversation was recommending that I use categories to define the core, broader, overarching theme of my posts but then to add tags that highlight the specific things talked about within each post.
This reminded of something I was thinking about yesterday with regards to the categorization of some of my older posts in the early 2000s. What I realized is that I often got stuck between what to categorize these posts because they talked about so many different things at once (i.e. community, culture, the web, and more).
But what I realized was that these different talking points were just the specific things that encapsulated an overarching whole of how Work Wasn’t Working or how The Future of Work was beginning to emerge by people playing and experimenting with newer ideas and concepts (that were an integration of culture, communities, and the web).
So a post that before I struggled to categorize as either Work Isn’t Work, Community, Culture, Web, or all of the above, actually was just a post on the category of Work Isn’t Working but with the following tags of Community, Culture, and Web.
Do you see why I was so confused before?
It’s because I was seeing many different things as all the same thing, instead of realizing that these things had different dimensions or layers to them.
So my perception changed and suddenly things didn’t seem as overwhelming as before, since I was able to package the seeming complexity of things in a simpler way.
This in a nutshell is a micro example of how creative transformations affect a person’s perception and allow them to level up their vertical development. Of course, this is just a small example, whereas moving through stages of development is a more massive change that transforms your entire perception of life as a whole, rather than just a small aspect of it.
