Upworthy has an interesting article talking about how socially awkward people have often thrived though out history. And most of these descriptions pretty much describe me exactly, as it is becoming more and more evident in my life that I’m looking at the world in a unique way that often doesn’t “conform to social norms.”
“People who achieve amazing things in this world, things that are kind of the tail end of the bell curve, they’re actually more likely to be more awkward.”
Tashiro explained that socially awkward individuals often have an “obsessive interest in things,” zeroing in on details and minutiae, sometimes at the cost of engaging with others or following social norms. However, he argues that this obsessiveness can translate into persistence during hard times and resilience in the face of challenges, ultimately helping them achieve great things.
This could explain why many people perceive brilliant scientists as smart but poor communicators, and why so many highly successful people who are often considered geniuses or leaders in their fields are also introverts.
“Socially awkward individuals often spend a lot of time alone,” therapist Lesley Lesker told Upworthy. “This provides the opportunity for them to process information thoroughly, look at all different angles and analyze situations in a more depth manner than non-socially awkward individuals.”
“Social awkwardness is a blessing and a curse. The reason that many people are socially awkward is because their brain is so unique and sees the world in such different ways that they naturally don’t conform to social norms,” said Tyana Tavakol, a licensed trauma therapist in California and Florida, and virtual private practice owner of Uncovering You. “This uniqueness can build resilience when their awkwardness is more consistently than not taken as quirky, funny, or some other type of endearing way. This can happen when they grew up in a very attuned and accepting home or family, or happened to find friends or community that also have their own unique brains and can really appreciate that in others.”
And this final part about developing self-compassion, I believe is key to transforming oneself and building up this resilience. I’m still working on not beating myself up as much I did before but I’ve made massive improvements in doing so over the last five to ten years.
Overall, self-compassion is the key to working through socially awkward feelings and building resilience.
“Developing self compassion can help a socially awkward person to build resilience,” Lesker concluded. “It is common for a socially awkward individual to blame themselves excessively, but when you speak to yourself compassionately in the same way that you would speak to a friend, resilience will grow.“