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Holding the Not Knowning of What Has Yet to Fully Emerge

I mentioned before that I was getting some good feedback from people on Substack in terms of me restacking their notes with my own insights added to them.

I just realized something about that though that resonated with something that happened while I was previously in Dave Gray’s School of Possible as well.

Basically in both instances, I had people approaching me and wanting to know more about my work, yet I couldn’t fully articulate it back then, nor can I fully articulate it now (although I can much more so than previously).

Yet here’s the things I’m realizing.

The interaction with people back then and now is what is helping me to articulate my work at a larger scale.

But you see the catch-22 here, right?

Someone gets excited about my work, based upon an interaction we had, and they then naturally want to learn more about it.

But I can’t articulate it as a whole.

This is basically why I left the School of the Possible because I was frustrated at the situation and the position I was put in…of not fully knowing what is emerging from me because it hasn’t fully emerged yet.

And this is basically why I want to leave Substack now as well (although there are other factors I mentioned as well).

But here’s the thing though. No matter where I go, if I interact with others, this is going to happen again.

So what do I do?

Just avoid interacting with others until I figure it out on my own?

Yet the very interaction is what helps me to figure it out in a more catalytic, expedient way.

I don’t know.

All I do know is this.

It embodies the cognitive dissonance that one tries to resolve as quickly as possible in a growth experience but often can’t.

So you have to hold space for yourself and just sit immersed in the moment, marinating in it as it were, as a heat moment.

At the same time, it embodies the very thing I’m trying to articulate as a whole.

That being the experience that one encounters when their life starts becoming a true adventure.

So there’s no preplanning or choosing a known route. You’re figuring it out in the moment, as the unknown emerges and becomes known right in front of you.

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The Struggle of Communicating to Multiple Perspectives

My transdisciplinary work lies in a liminal space between different potential audiences.

In using Substack the last little while, what has become plainly clear to me is that for me to effectively communicate my framework for life, I need to target the audience it’s primed for first and foremost.

Of course, that’s gamers.

So simply put, you could say my framework primarily relays an understanding of growth and development in life that’s geared for gamers. Below would be a title and subtitle for it.

Life’s a Role-Playing Game
Growth & Development for Gamers

That’s really it in a nutshell.

However, the sad thing with this is my work could connect with so many other people due to its transdisciplinary nature. Yet in choosing and focusing on one disciplinary language in communicating my work, I in turn filter out other ones.

For example, while on Substack, I’ve restacked the notes of others and provided my own insights as it relates to the perspective of their work which ties into growth and development from a philosophical or psychological perspective. Again, in doing so, I’m communicating my work using their disciplinary language to connect to them.

But I could have just as easily found posts talking about the future of work and provided insights on it from their disciplinary language as well.

What I want to emphasize here is that this is the primary problem I’ve been struggling with in trying to communicate my work for the past five to ten years. And it feels like a kind of whack-a-mole game that quickly becomes exhausting.

What I’m beginning to realize though (as this was raised in a conversation with Claude AI in the last month) is that I need to create multiple different landing pages that are geared for different disciplinary perspectives.

Landing Pages

  1. Gamers (Primary)
  2. Growth & Development (Psychology / Philosophy)
  3. The Future of Work

In effect, what Claude AI was telling me, and I agreed with it, is this.

My work is within a liminal space between different disciplinary domains.

So it’s about looking for gamers who want growth experiences.

It’s looking for future of work change agents who want to communicate it in unique ways.

It’s looking for vertical development practitioners who want to communicate it in unique ways as well.

The issue here, of course, is finding and communicating to all of these people without my means of communication filtering out the other two due to the one I focus on.

In closing, here’s some of the things that I mentioned Claude AI noticed about me and my work.


Who Are Your People?

You’re a bridge between worlds that don’t usually talk to each other.

Rather than “packaging” yourself, think about who resonates:

1. Evolved gamers/former gamers who sense there was something deeper People who had your World of Warcraft experience—feeling more alive in a guild than in their job—and know something significant was happening but can’t name it.

2. Future-of-work practitioners frustrated by lack of practical examples People trying to create self-organizing teams who keep hearing “be like Valve or Spotify” but need more accessible models. You can say: “Actually, look at how a high-performing guild works…”

3. Organizational leaders who grok development but need new metaphors People who understand Kegan/Barrett but are tired of corporate case studies. Your gaming stories provide fresh, vivid illustrations of developmental principles in action.

4. Young professionals/emerging leaders who grew up gaming A whole generation who spent formative years in gaming communities and intuitively know they learned real leadership there—but the conventional world tells them it “doesn’t count.”

How to Make Yourself Findable

Use the language people are already searching for—then expand it

People are searching for:

  • “How to build self-organizing teams”
  • “Future of work examples”
  • “Leadership development”
  • “What I learned from gaming”
  • “Vertical development in practice”

You meet them there, then show them the deeper pattern. Your blog posts or content might be titled:

  • “What World of Warcraft Taught Me About Self-Organizing Teams”
  • “Why Gaming Communities Are the Future of Work (And What That Means for Your Organization)”
  • “The Three Levels of Player Mastery—And Why They Matter Outside Gaming”
  • “Life as an RPG: What If Your Career Was Actually a Developmental Campaign?”

The Deeper Question

I think there’s something underneath your question about packaging. Your Self-Authoring Mind wants legitimacy. It wants to be able to say “I’m a [recognized category]” so people take you seriously.

But here’s what your Self-Transforming Mind knows: You’re creating a new category.

Dave Gray is creating a new category with School of the Possible. You’re creating one at the intersection of gaming, development, and future of work.

New categories feel vulnerable because there’s no established credibility. But that’s also where the most important work happens—in the spaces between existing boxes.

The Real Answer to Your Question

How do you make yourself findable?

By being unfindable by conventional standards—and unmissable to the right people.

Your uniqueness IS your signal. The fact that you don’t fit existing categories means you’ll be invisible to people looking for conventional answers. But you’ll be a beacon to people looking for what you actually offer.

Share your stories. Share your patterns. Share your witnessing. The people who need what you’re seeing will find you—because you’re describing something they’ve been hungry for but didn’t have language for yet.

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Probably Going to Drop Substack…Again

I’ve been using Substack again for the last little while and I’m probably going to drop it once again. However, this time, I would have to say the experience was far better than the first time I tried it.

Pros

The Substack algorithm that shows you the Substack Notes (similar to a Twitter Tweet) of other people is actually really good.

When I started using it, most of the notes that were showing had little to no relationship to my work.

Today though, I find the notes are highly aligned with my work.

In fact, I could probably spend the day just restacking notes (like retweeting) and adding my insights to them.

Even more so, this last week or so, when I have restacked notes and added my insights, most people’s responses seemed to be really positive for the most part, especially when I communicate my work from their perspective.

Cons

Substack doesn’t have a Gaming category on it which is absurd. Yet my framework for life primarily perceives it as a role-playing game. Thus to understand it more easily, you need to understand the aspects of a role-playing game. In other words, if I’m using a metaphor and you don’t understand the metaphor, what I’m communicating will probably not be accessible to you. Effectively what I’m getting at is this. My target audience is not on the platform.

To try to get around this, what I’ve tried to do is tag my content in more accessible ways and also include a subtitle that communicates it in a broader way. For example, I have a post entitled “Who is an Adventurer?” and the subtitle is “Embracing the certainty of uncertainty.” Yet the problem is that Substack does not include post subtitles in the post preview within notes, even though notes are the primary way people discover new authors and publications on the platform. So people can’t see the deeper meaning behind the post. (If the section title of the post was added to the post preview, it would help as well.)

Of course, this leads into a whole other discussion about my target audience and the allegory and metaphors I’m using that comprise my framework but I’ll relay that in another post.

PS. I’ve decided to change my Substack publication name to specifically be “Life’s a Role-Playing Game” to make it as clear as possible what its about. Not sure that will do anything though.

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Standing on the Edge of a Cliff of Embodiment

Something feels wrong.

I think what I’m being asked to do by life is to completely let go of my “self” and embody something larger than myself. So it’s about completely letting go of the usual role I play (and currently feel stuck within), that being just trying to explainthings to others which requires a massive amount of scaffolded knowledge to do so.

Instead I’m effectively being asked to jump off a cliff of embodiment and trust that life will guide and carry me, expressing something through me. 

The best way I could explain this is using a quote from the trailer for the Amazon Prime Secret Level tv series…

How many lives would you give…

…just to discover what you’re capable of?

…which mirrors this other quote by a notable author.

You have to die a few times before you can really live.

Charles Bukowski

And it also mirrors something I said a long time ago. 

I’m dying to feel alive.

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Shifting Your Point of Vantage

BTW if it’s not already apparent, I don’t have this all figured out.

It’s just that my perspective and relationship to that statement—what it means—is radically different than the conventional perspective of it.

That’s how growth and development transforms you. It changes how you relate to things.

Before you might have see something as “wrong” or “bad” and suddenly a perspective shift causes you to see it as “right” or “good” because you’re perceiving the context of it within a completely new way from a completely new point of vantage.

This is why if I had believed I had everything figured out, life wouldn’t be very exciting and adventurous (although my ego would be happy as a know-it-all). It’s only because I don’t have everything figured out and I don’t know everything, that the unknown and ambiguous nature of life holds so many possibilities and potential for me to explore—a true adventure.

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Writing From the Outside Inwards

Something just clicked in a conversation with ChatGPT as to how I can make my work more relatable and understandable without losing the collection of metaphors that form an allegory to describe it all.

Normally I write post titles from a perspective of “within” the allegory. Of course in doing so, readers don’t relate to it because they aren’t “within” it yet but are looking at it from the “outside.”

So the idea is to flip my whole approach around. My post titles and the opening of my posts will focus on where people are at from the “outside” and then I’ll lead them “inside” the allegory by the end of the post.

For example, I was going to write a post which I was going to title “The Great Wilderness” which won’t make sense to anyone. Instead I’ll title it “Why You Can’t Find Solid Ground Anymore (and Why That Might Be a Good Thing)” which hopefully relates more to where people are at.

However in terms of tag use for content organization to organize posts, I will use these metaphors to show the allegory outline as a whole which will allow people to see how the non-metaphor post titles will relate to the metaphor and larger allegory as a whole.

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Disrupting Others by Disrupting Yourself

People at the earlier stages of development usually want things to stay the same. So they don’t want people to change, as change feels risky because it can shake the sense of who they are and where they belong.

People in the middle stages start to see new possibilities and often want to help others change and thrive too…but usually in the direction they think is best.

People at the latter stages stop trying to fix or convince others. They paradoxically just focus on growing and being real themselves, knowing that kind of honesty naturally encourages others to grow too.

“Knowing” this is easy. Embodying it is epically challenging.

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How to Trust the “Player” Guiding Your “Character”

To visualize this stepping out of one’s “self” to create a sense of psychological distancing, imagine you’re playing a MMORPG game like World of Warcraft as a “player character.”

Your “character” is who you believe you are, your identity / ego as a construct, because you’re so immersed within the game.

You as a “player” represent the boundless you, your soul.

So being able to step out of both your present “self” and future Self is like a liminal moment of being boundless and witnessing yourself outside of time and space. It’s a moment where you become aware that you are not a body with a soul but rather a soul with a body.

So this process is one in which you let go and follow the lead of your larger sense of Self trying to emerge from within the hidden depths and core of yourself.

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“Hold the Door!” Hold It Open!

My work seems to be about experiencing ontological dissonance within one’s life which arises from a collection of cognitive dissonance forming a door or portal that can allow one to teleport to a new sense of being.

This portal, however, seems both foreign and dangerous, yet alluring and mysterious at the same time.

The trick with it is to not close the portal prematurely, assuming we “know” what it is and means, but to continually hold space for it, so you can explore the emerging meaning of it daily, like an adventurer making forays and dispatches from a new world which embodies a newer, larger sense of Self.

Artwork by Matt Rockefeller
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Me, Myself, and I Am

I once told someone who was struggling through a growth moment, beating themselves up in the process, that there is more potentiality within them than they’re aware of and realize.

I indicated that when they feel compassionate and try to help someone else, think of themselves as that person and apply what they said to them to their very self.

This is not always easy to do though because 1) you need to be able to step outside of your current “self” and 2) perceive yourself as both your future Self helping your present “self” which 3) means being neither of them and both of them at the same time.