I occasionally get these liminal moments of clarity where everything comes into focus and alignment and a larger vista of my life is revealed.
Today I had one such moment, after being unable to sleep and waking up in the early hours of this morning and then later crashing and sleep a few hours in the afternoon. With a mind and body fully rested and reset, thoughts deep within me bubbled up and surfaced, relating to something I wrote a while back on Twitter.
For many of us, our daily struggle is often about being seen, noticed, and accepted by others.
Yet a calm serenity can be found when we begin to start seeing, noticing, and accepting the otherness of our own being.
It is that which lies within the deep wilderness of our heart.
Why this is poignant is that today I also shared some thoughts online on Reddit and I did so without even thinking about it or questioning if I should do so. I just did it.
As I said, afterwords upon reflecting upon my words and how I just shared them without thinking about it, it made me realize something about my life and my Self.
I don’t need plans of where I want to go.
I just need intentions of who I want to be.
My doing will emerge naturally from my being.
To put this into perspective, I will never be able to truly accept myself until I can let go of needing others to accept me first. Or put another way, I will never be able to truly do what I want to do unless I can be what I’m dying to be first. So since the doing emerges from the being, I’m effectively standing in my own way and blocking my own doing by not accepting my own being first.
This is why I’ve continually pushed myself away from others and have taken myself offline numerous times in the past, both literally and metaphorically in the sense of disconnecting from my soul and true sense of Self and being.
Until I can embody who I truly am, without the recognition or validation from others for it, I will never be who I want to be and do what I want to do.
For this to happen, I just need to understand that my writing online doesn’t need to be seen, heard, and accepted by others for me to be validated.
I’m already validating myself by sharing seeing, hearing, and accepting the otherness of my being by sharing my Self online.
In other words, when you can validate yourself by just being yourself, there is no longer a need for an outcome from your actions of doing to justify your being because your being intentionally always comes first.