I’ve become aware that what primarily seems to be impeding me is my inability to conventionally articulate myself fully in such a way that it best represents my unbounded, unconventional self as a whole. So I end up going in circles, continually shifting my conventional perspective of myself, to try to fit in with what people expect I am.
It’s weird. It’s almost like I need to let go of classifying and containing who I am and instead just let myself be my unexpected self, thus unclassified and unbounded.
While this may seem chaotic at first, perhaps this is what is needed for order to emerge from this seeming chaos of a larger sense of self emerging. So kind of like I said a long time ago, perhaps I just need to be an avatar for my life’s work, the passion and purpose of it. In doing so, the objective sense of self of who I am disintegrates at the event horizon of transformation, as it’s no longer needed anymore. In effect, I’m no longer the focus of my life, my life’s work is.
But of course saying this and doing it are two separate things. I’ll need to feel into this some more to fully understand what this means to actually do and embody on a day to day basis.